May the hands, which touch you, be conduits of gentle loving care in all ways. May the heart, which chooses to love you, be experienced in generosity, spaciousness, forgiveness, and wise. May the mouth, which speaks to you in kisses, know to speak words of awe, truth, magic and love with compassionate tenderness and fluency. May the eyes, which set upon you, softly gaze at your beingness with the healing light of love...
The more I retreat from socializing virtuallyThe more I am unavailableThe richer my remaining encounters and relationships are A lovely paradox to live, navigate and experience. That is one way of putting my latest experiment in relating in a nutshell, of course the experience itself is much more nuanced and the insights gained multidimensional and manyfold. Retreating from social media and its temptations in staying connected with those, who...
On the surface level I am not different to everyone else I might pass on the street. After all I still am embodied, hold a conditioned personality matrix in the mind, and experience life primarily from a human experiential vantage point. And yet the internal experience and quality of life and aliveness is very different to what I once experienced at earlier points of this lifetime. Life has dramatically...
It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...
Dating makes me acutely aware of my unique communication style, preferences, and language skills, which for the longest time remained hidden in exchanges with soul kin and close friends. When communicating with people who lack an aligned spiritual background, or who have not delved into it as far, my mind starts translating, explaining, and becoming more detailed in conveying its meaning. Realizing the difference in cosmologies and how these...
I am observing people misreading who I am and what it takes to be part of my experience. Which may be due to ignorance or forgetfulness, regardless of the reasons, here is a reminder on how I operate and how it affects my social engagements and relationships. I am naturally generous I love giving and sharing what is mine to share, there is no joy for me in hoarding...
There is a numinous stillness in winter. And though everything seems frozen and dead life is still being seeded, born, nurtured, composted and upcycled in this time of darkness. A time that calls to us to turn within, to retreat from the bustle and rush of man-made reality, to rest in communion with our essence, and reflect upon our year while safely reposing in the arms of the Dark...
How do I explain to him that something about his physique triggered deep feelings of repulsion and disgust, which are owed to experiences with an abusive person from my childhood? How do I explain that my mind is reeling while trying to differentiate and keep apart timelines, feelings and persons? How do I own and express to him that I know it’s unfair that he is affected by my...
There are people who invoke a heart-rending helplessness in me, which turns into hot anger when I observe their unwillingness or inability to do even the most minuscule thing to serve their health or wellbeing while relishing with stubborn willfulness in self-destruction. Not choosing to do for themselves what they would do for others, if only temporary as their consistency is equally weakened by the tyranny of the shadow...
One way of making sense of my life so far is as a succession of 1. joining a unit (e.g. family, cult, friends, partners, work, identities) 2. Striving and struggling to belong by doing my best to adhere to its rules, principles and boundaries 3. Beginning to chafe at it and inescapably and painfully outgrowing it while being pulled into a new chapter of my life and belonging. Every...
