Much of what has been written on middle age and becoming a crone only partially resonates with me, if it does at all. I feel the relative truth of what I hear and read, my truth though related is different. From my vantage point my experience and truth feels more expansive, as it does not limit me to a form, gender narratives, nor ancestral myths. The states I am...
I have been once again contemplating death more deeply and intimately for the past year. Which is always a wonderful exploration as I realize where my being stands in relation to death. How many of my inner tribe still fear death and how many have embraced it as part of life? And if they have embraced it in which way they perceive and make sense of it. What once...
I have been quiet here as I was focused on dealing with health concerns. To be confronted with decisions that take me to the edge of my comfort zone and beyond, having to learn about a diagnosis I have not been familiar with, and listening deeply to hear the voice of my body and consciousness in deciding on treatment plans, and more has been monopolizing on my bandwidth and...
My heart keeps being called into deep introspective states of non-verbal perception and knowing. Co-arising with this call is a knowing of the necessity to repose in this way of living and experiencing life to ensure uninhibited purge, transmutation, and recreation of inner landscapes. A new foundation for being is prepared by dismantling and metabolizing the old in its more subtle and unconscious layers of existence. With it the process...
I don’t get to tell people how to love me I get to see how they love and then choose if I want to participate. ~Iyanla Vanzant I feel this is one of the most important lessons on boundaries and choices I have been learning in the past years through contrast and divine discontentment. My long years of investment in emotional maturation enables me to be ruthlessly and radically...
I have often contemplated and written about the various types of attraction I have experienced in my life. Their different attributes and effects on my being. In the beginning of my non-monogamous journey I would spend endless hours with fellow adventurers trying to verbalize the nature of attraction I experienced with different people and the qualities of connection available with them. Ever since these early days I have observed...
Giving generously and freely, something that nourishes my being through full alignment with my soul’s nature and I love dearly, has often been turned into a pathway to harm in my experience. Years back, I have been guided to step away from generosity and taught to painstakingly observe, witness, and analyze the dynamics of giving and receiving in my relationships. Learning to differentiate between healthy flow of generosity and...
I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...
My current experience is allowing me to realize and release misperceptions about my being. For as long as I live I had a knowing that I can ‘read’ other people’s emotions and conceptual/cosmological backgrounds. And the unspoken assumption was that I picked it all up energetically and through empathetic knowing of the frequencies offered. Novel Observations and Insights What I am now learning is that I read said energy primarily...
It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...
