Alchemizing

I have often contemplated and written about the various types of attraction I have experienced in my life. Their different attributes and effects on my being. In the beginning of my non-monogamous journey I would spend endless hours with fellow adventurers trying to verbalize the nature of attraction I experienced with different people and the qualities of connection available with them. Ever since these early days I have observed...

Generosity

Giving generously and freely, something that nourishes my being through full alignment with my soul’s nature and I love dearly, has often been turned into a pathway to harm in my experience. Years back, I have been guided to step away from generosity and taught to painstakingly observe, witness, and analyze the dynamics of giving and receiving in my relationships. Learning to differentiate between healthy flow of generosity and...

Expressing Appreciation

I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...

In Alchemical Process

My current experience is allowing me to realize and release misperceptions about my being. For as long as I live I had a knowing that I can ‘read’ other people’s emotions and conceptual/cosmological backgrounds. And the unspoken assumption was that I picked it all up energetically and through empathetic knowing of the frequencies offered.  Novel Observations and Insights What I am now learning is that I read said energy primarily...

The Unmet Yielding into Wholeness

It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...

Online Dating

I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....

Self Discovery

“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than to choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~ Marianne Williamson For a long time I have been perceiving things along the lines of this quote, believing it to be a primarily a question of individual courage if someone walks a path of self discovery and self...

The Primal

Last night the primal mind and animal entered a new level of communication with me, no longer shrouded in symbols and metaphors to be decoded, their meanings unfolded with an unprecedented clarity and directness. And interestingly enough, it was not in dream time but in the liminal space between dream world and waking world that said communication unfolded. I am in a newfound and visceral awe of this archaic...

sketch woman closed eyes buterflies

Contrast

“Because others cannot vibrate in your experience, they cannot affect the outcome of your experience. They can hold their opinions, but unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all. A million people could be pushing against you, and it would not negatively affect you unless you push back. They are affecting what happens in their experience. They are affecting their point of attraction—but it does...

Thank You 2021

For teaching me more on WHOLENESS by encouraging me to set more internal and external boundaries to codependency and enmeshment and practice healthy detachment. For letting me repose in and relish desireless EMPTINESS and delight in embodying the void. For making me ask myself how I can bring more of the qualities of the VOID to my experiences and encounters. For teaching me to face REALITY as it is...

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