It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...
I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....
“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than to choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~ Marianne Williamson For a long time I have been perceiving things along the lines of this quote, believing it to be a primarily a question of individual courage if someone walks a path of self discovery and self...
Last night the primal mind and animal entered a new level of communication with me, no longer shrouded in symbols and metaphors to be decoded, their meanings unfolded with an unprecedented clarity and directness. And interestingly enough, it was not in dream time but in the liminal space between dream world and waking world that said communication unfolded. I am in a newfound and visceral awe of this archaic...
“Because others cannot vibrate in your experience, they cannot affect the outcome of your experience. They can hold their opinions, but unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all. A million people could be pushing against you, and it would not negatively affect you unless you push back. They are affecting what happens in their experience. They are affecting their point of attraction—but it does...
For teaching me more on WHOLENESS by encouraging me to set more internal and external boundaries to codependency and enmeshment and practice healthy detachment. For letting me repose in and relish desireless EMPTINESS and delight in embodying the void. For making me ask myself how I can bring more of the qualities of the VOID to my experiences and encounters. For teaching me to face REALITY as it is...
This year, in retrospect, was an intense course on 'Emotional Fulfillment' I seemed to finally have been ready for. There is a sense of "at last" and a deep exhalation within as the lesson's layers are sinking in....
Playing with new tools of making sense of internal processes and relational dynamics and communication has been fascinating. Congruence and incongruence have been centered in revisiting of past and analysis of current experiences. Slowing experiences down to a crawl, sending them through new layers of inquiries into subconscious perceptions, subtle projections, and distortions. Acknowledging meanings of my creation and the feelings these cause, observing feelings about the caused feelings....
Notes to self: Practice BEing in the NOW. Make BEing an embodiment of love, evolutionary consciousness and self mastery your priority. BE the fullest version of Self you can be. BE an embodiment and loving protector of freedom, yours and other’s. Master your ego and mind, teach them to serve Self and Source/Life/the Divine. BE better at balancing internal contrasts (work/rest, action/receptivity, yin/yang, etc.) and expand your wellbeing, resilience...
This year has been about realizing and embracing uncomfortable truths, making hard decisions and holding myself accountable to a higher standard than before. It has been a year of illuminating and cleaning up what my ego successfully hid under carpets and in dark corners of my mind. A year of cutting out little and not so little ways my ego cuts corners with regards to my health and wellbeing...
