Relational Insights

The last year taught me more on subtle nuances to boundaries, and opened up a whole new aspect I have not yet engaged with. I was shown which hopes and desires, born of deficits and woundings of my childhood, still hold a level of power that effortlessly crosses and blinds me to my boundaries until harm has been incurred. A painful insight into the workings of patterns alive in...

Online Dating

I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....

Being Needed, Wanted, Valued?

Growing up in a family where people displayed codependent and covert narcissistic traits my system was entrained with a lot of misperceptions and distortions. Making me all too comfortable with dynamics and relational patterns that were not only unfulfilling and asymmetric but also harmful to my mental and physical wellbeing. This is why I had to explore and learn the differences and qualities of being needed, wanted, and valued....

Changing the Narrative on Break Ups

After A While After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises, And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open, With the grace of a woman, not the grief...

Powerful Couple or Power Couple

I have observed within me a push and pull dynamic with regards to the concept of Power Couples. In wanting to explore which aspects about it attract and which repel me, or more precisely which parts of me and for what reason, I have been led on a beautifully explorative journey. A journey shared and enriched in parts with friends, who were kind enough to share their impression of...

Being a Home

In a dharma talk I listened to yesterday Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) shared that in Vietnam husbands and wives call each other 'my home' which in its beauty and along his insights on the nature of said home inspired deeper reflections in me. Making a home of ourself in his spiritual sense means the cultivation and practice of self compassion, loving embrace of all that arises, and turning towards our...

Who Does my Heart Desire?

As I am in an ongoing process of checking in with my heart and self on my current wishes and preferences around relationships and partners I shall share some of my tools and insights.   Today I want to share one of my playful visioning tools of inquiry into my being’s current vision of an aligned beloved and partner: Give yourself enough undisturbed time for this explorative journey. Make yourself...

Relationship Dealbreakers and Flags

In my early teens I read this sentence “Be like an Empress in love” which resonates to this day with me. Its meaning has deepened and expanded into different dimensions over time. From where I am today it stands for loving from a knowing of my own abundance, wholeness and sovereignty, and it speaks to loving, caring, nurturing and giving generously from a discerning and conscious heart. Loving like...

Masculine Leadership and Feminine Submission

It is so compelling to let someone else take the lead and surrender or take the position of leadership and dominate. After all the journey has been long and we had to fight and work hard on our own and feel depleted or tired or felt disempowered and unacknowledged and will grasp at any chance to leave that behind. When I look at it closely and feel into my...

Lessons on Being and Relating

I am feeling the end of a large cycle in my life. About two decades of learning multidimensional lessons on relationships, self love and sovereignty. Looking back I am in awe and gratitude for the growth, knowledge, integration and wisdom these life lessons brought to me. I am grateful for the friends, lovers and partners who availed themselves in this game of consciousness playing at being one and many....

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