I have often contemplated and written about the various types of attraction I have experienced in my life. Their different attributes and effects on my being. In the beginning of my non-monogamous journey I would spend endless hours with fellow adventurers trying to verbalize the nature of attraction I experienced with different people and the qualities of connection available with them. Ever since these early days I have observed...
The last year taught me more on subtle nuances to boundaries, and opened up a whole new aspect I have not yet engaged with. I was shown which hopes and desires, born of deficits and woundings of my childhood, still hold a level of power that effortlessly crosses and blinds me to my boundaries until harm has been incurred. A painful insight into the workings of patterns alive in...
Giving generously and freely, something that nourishes my being through full alignment with my soul’s nature and I love dearly, has often been turned into a pathway to harm in my experience. Years back, I have been guided to step away from generosity and taught to painstakingly observe, witness, and analyze the dynamics of giving and receiving in my relationships. Learning to differentiate between healthy flow of generosity and...
The more I retreat from socializing virtuallyThe more I am unavailableThe richer my remaining encounters and relationships are A lovely paradox to live, navigate and experience. That is one way of putting my latest experiment in relating in a nutshell, of course the experience itself is much more nuanced and the insights gained multidimensional and manyfold. Retreating from social media and its temptations in staying connected with those, who...
I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...
My current experience is allowing me to realize and release misperceptions about my being. For as long as I live I had a knowing that I can ‘read’ other people’s emotions and conceptual/cosmological backgrounds. And the unspoken assumption was that I picked it all up energetically and through empathetic knowing of the frequencies offered. Novel Observations and Insights What I am now learning is that I read said energy primarily...
On the surface level I am not different to everyone else I might pass on the street. After all I still am embodied, hold a conditioned personality matrix in the mind, and experience life primarily from a human experiential vantage point. And yet the internal experience and quality of life and aliveness is very different to what I once experienced at earlier points of this lifetime. Life has dramatically...
It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...
I realize that many people do not get the full scope of the meaning the word healing holds for me and others who are on a similar life path or who engage in their and other people’s healing with discernment and awareness. For most people the word healing describes a goal-focused process akin to the healing of a cut in our skin: a localized process of hurt, inflammation, scabbing...
I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....
