I don’t get to tell people how to love me I get to see how they love and then choose if I want to participate. ~Iyanla Vanzant I feel this is one of the most important lessons on boundaries and choices I have been learning in the past years through contrast and divine discontentment. My long years of investment in emotional maturation enables me to be ruthlessly and radically...
I have been noticing lately several people pointing out that what they are currently looking for in relating is emotional safety. And it made me reflect on why that didn’t fully resonate with what I am experiencing and wanting to delve into more. Safety has for the longest time been on the forefront of my mind, though it referred to physical safety from potential harm through violence. But that...
Inner landscapes in ourselves and others are exquisitely diverse and fill my life with awe, surprise, insights, and the joy of exploration. Like the landscapes of our mother Gaia they come in many wondersome manifestations worthy of exploration and delight. I am becoming gratefully aware how blessed I have been in my life to have preserved and protected the fertility of my inner landscapes and to be surrounded with...
Reconnecting with beloved connections, which had been absent for a while from my life, has a gentle healing effect on my relational system. As memories birth ever new feelings, thoughts, and sensations my present awareness observes it all, while engaging with the beloved friend. Observing the layering of memory born sensations, watching feelings and thoughts scoring initial moments of reconnection, like music enhances and colors a movie. First there...
Disappointment is a wondersome and often misunderstood teacher. There are many layers and subtleties to its gifts of insight into my unhelpful beliefs, forgotten pain, behavioral and thought patterns, and my sweet little girl‘s longings that remained unfulfilled. Illuminating attachments in need of attention, transformation, or release. Alerting me to contractions, stuck energy, and tensions alive in my body. Inviting me to become intimate with the complex ways I...
May the hands, which touch you, be conduits of gentle loving care in all ways. May the heart, which chooses to love you, be experienced in generosity, spaciousness, forgiveness, and wise. May the mouth, which speaks to you in kisses, know to speak words of awe, truth, magic and love with compassionate tenderness and fluency. May the eyes, which set upon you, softly gaze at your beingness with the healing light of love...
“Sex is a form of emotional reassurance, a narcotic to still the pain of the bruised soul. If life batters them, then sex, like drugs or work, may numb the wound. the sexual act offers a momentary transcendence. Orgasm can be an ecstatic experience; for the moment one may feel outside the iron confines of ordinary consciousness. It is the closest that many men ever come to a religious...
I have often contemplated and written about the various types of attraction I have experienced in my life. Their different attributes and effects on my being. In the beginning of my non-monogamous journey I would spend endless hours with fellow adventurers trying to verbalize the nature of attraction I experienced with different people and the qualities of connection available with them. Ever since these early days I have observed...
The last year taught me more on subtle nuances to boundaries, and opened up a whole new aspect I have not yet engaged with. I was shown which hopes and desires, born of deficits and woundings of my childhood, still hold a level of power that effortlessly crosses and blinds me to my boundaries until harm has been incurred. A painful insight into the workings of patterns alive in...
Giving generously and freely, something that nourishes my being through full alignment with my soul’s nature and I love dearly, has often been turned into a pathway to harm in my experience. Years back, I have been guided to step away from generosity and taught to painstakingly observe, witness, and analyze the dynamics of giving and receiving in my relationships. Learning to differentiate between healthy flow of generosity and...
