Questions from the Void of a Flashback

How do I explain to him that something about his physique triggered deep feelings of repulsion and disgust, which are owed to experiences with an abusive person from my childhood? How do I explain that my mind is reeling while trying to differentiate and keep apart timelines, feelings and persons? How do I own...

emotional fulfillment

Emotional Fulfillment

This year, in retrospect, was an intense course on 'Emotional Fulfillment' I seemed to finally have been ready for. There is a sense of "at last" and a deep exhalation within as the lesson's layers are sinking in....

Self Destructivity

There are people who invoke a heart-rendering helplessness in me, which turns into hot anger when I observe their unwillingness or inability to do even the most minuscule thing to serve their health or wellbeing while relishing with stubborn willfulness in self-destruction. Not choosing to do for themselves what they would do for others,...

Congruency

Playing with new tools of making sense of internal processes and relational dynamics and communication has been fascinating. Congruence and incongruence have been centered in revisiting of past and analysis of current experiences. Slowing experiences down to a crawl, sending them through new layers of inquiries into subconscious perceptions, subtle projections, and distortions. Acknowledging...

Dream School

I often refer to dream school but have not yet explained what I mean by that, which allowed everyone to find their own definition or understanding but not really know mine. Dream school in my definition is set apart from usual dreams, which are made up of the feedback and information shared by the...

In-betweenness

One way of making sense of my life so far is as a succession of 1. joining a unit (e.g. family, cult, friends, partners, work, identities) 2. Striving and struggling to belong by doing my best to adhere to its rules, principles and boundaries 3. Beginning to chafe at it and inescapably and painfully...

Powerful Couple or Power Couple

I have observed within me a push and pull dynamic with regards to the concept of Power Couples. In wanting to explore which aspects about it attract and which repel me, or more precisely which parts of me and for what reason, I have been led on a beautifully explorative journey. A journey shared...

Being a Home

In a dharma talk I listened to yesterday Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) shared that in Vietnam husbands and wives call each other 'my home' which in its beauty and along his insights on the nature of said home inspired deeper reflections in me. Making a home of ourself in his spiritual sense means the cultivation...

The Invitation

I have been contemplating the outstanding and exquisite nature of a conversation with a stranger recently encountered on my walk. Trying to remember when last I had a comparable experience of effortless and seamless flow of understanding, knowing, expansion, inspiration and the wonderment of encountering oneness, sameness and differentiation concurrently and blissfully.  Thinking back and sense-feeling...

in the void

called back to the core sensing the need for a new path one free from the weight of what was listening to the wisdom and potentiality of now time has no meaning or abode here human scripts are but a thin specter the numinous rays of the eternal sun call for evolution the lilting...

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