It is so compelling to let someone else take the lead and surrender or take the position of leadership and dominate. After all the journey has been long and we had to fight and work hard on our own and feel depleted or tired or felt disempowered and unacknowledged and will grasp at any chance to leave that behind.
When I look at it closely and feel into my response, I hear the voice of the wounded child that wants to be nurtured and taken care of resonate with my pull to accommodate this narrative. I see the aspect of self that is lazy and wants things handed to it instead of creating and working for them resonate with this. I sense the appeal to my masculine to take its “rightful” position of leadership, the promise of empowerment reverberating in it. The validation of “I know best” that the ego holds, the illusory promise and feel of “right order of things” hailing from millennia of conditioned gender roles and narratives. I see residual and persistent thought forms, emotive responses and beliefs arising from patriarchal romantic conditionings resonate with it.
And so I sit in silence and let the narrative of the leading masculine and surrendered feminine hover in space as my awareness illuminates it to know its nature, level of truthfulness and distortion. Drawing on eclectic spiritual teachings, knowing, insights, sensed and felt experiences with both energies my observations are combined and recombined with these to illumine and distill more of the underlying patterns, energies and archetypal forces at play in this narrative and in the seeding, enforcing and amplification of this new agey subgroup of patriarchal gender narratives.
I sense the overlay and undercurrent of history and the affinity of the ego to recreate the past in its mistaken idea of safety. I recognize the blindness towards the nature and quality of both energy signatures arising from matrix conditioning, incapable of perceiving the reality of the energy while the mind keeps projecting and overlaying it with subconsciously held narratives of masculinity and femininity. I see how entrancing and actively resistant these narratives are to the perception of existence beyond the concepts of the matrix or even imagination beyond the entrenched narratives which are heavily protected by weaponized cognitive dissonances.
From the detachment of a higher vantage point of perception, i.e. beyond self-identification and its limiting factors, this is quite amusing to observe. A highly intelligent and deceptive virus (patriarchy) adept at adapting to and defeating his hosts immune system strategies by making the immune system believe it is part of its defense and serving the wellbeing of the host. It is fascinating and entertaining, I can see why consciousness chooses to play at this in so many variations, layers and dimensions.
From my blended perception, i.e. from a union of human and higher Self perception, I lean towards wanting to engage with more reality and leave the games of egoic illusions, archetypal storylines, wars over layers of the matrix artifice behind me. These games feel exhausting, futile, senseless, destructive, stale and repetitive. I want more, I want different, something new.
I now operate more and more from the knowing of my essential conscious/divine/energetic nature. My practice of making more time for being in that nature and experiencing life from that state is shedding layers upon layers of conditioning, ancestral and karmic burdens of distortions and allows me to clear my eyes, heart and mind to perceive life anew. To dream of bringing into being new and more joyful ways of perceiving, making sense, relating, creating and being on this planet and with all that is.
Rehashing old games of duality, gender oppositions, disempowering relational dynamics, pigeonholing ourselves in ever more fragmented identities, beliefs, opinions and groups is a slow and painful path to walk from where I perceive things. Nonetheless, I respect people’s choices to experience life in that way. We came here to experience life in individual ways which serve and grow our soul’s journey and ultimately the evolution and self-exploration of divine consciousness and I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of that.
I am all for exploring and playing with power dynamics in life, relating and creating. I don’t mind being in a submissive role or a dominant role. But that is all it can be for me: a role I choose to play with awareness, not who I am. I AM so much more than the narrow definition of the feminine or masculine in the new age mindset or current narrative spin. I AM all, I can embody all traits, roles, expressions and play with all. As can everyone else. Why limit myself to a stale overplayed repertoire when I came here to drink experience to my fill?
There is so much the new age propagandists don’t seem to understand about the way the feminine and masculine energies work together or what the hieros gamos feels like when embodied. The idea that “one leads and the other follows” is painfully colored by patriarchal dominator thinking and cannot even come close to fathom the beauty of how the union of masculine and feminine expresses, feels, senses and vibrates. There is no leadership in union. Who is there to be lead and who can lead in oneness? What is this foolish nonsense we are being served up if not the regurgitation of old paradigm thinking?
If you have experienced and felt the union of masculine & feminine within, you will know the numinous nature of the union and how it creates and acts, which defy words and explanations as we lack proper concepts and words to hope to express it even in the vaguest terms. Similar observations can be made in the experience of union between self and higher Self. There is still so much we have to EXPERIENCE for ourselves to truly KNOW about reality. Higher experiences defy the limitations of our current perceptions, thinking, culture, norms, languages and modes of communication.
The invitation I extend to those who are willing to read, listen and reflect upon this is to explore new paths and pioneer novel, playful, expansive explorations beyond the pitiful and limited archetypal narratives humanity has been handing their power over to for millennia.
Join us in owning our quantum consciousness nature and let us play outside the limiting normativity and prescriptivity that some try to lord over our minds, hearts and bodies. Let us strip off the narratives, identifications and labels that make us susceptible to the allure of their cat’s gold of matrix fueled illusions and let us alchemize real gold of consciousness with Spirit.
There is so much more to explore, be, learn, create, experience, share, give, receive and become one with. Let us not settle for less than our soul’s and consciousness are capable and hungry for!
With love and blessings to all ways of dancing the dance of consciousness.