On The Emerging Self and Conditions Of Relating With Me

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”~ Maya Angelou

I write often about letting go and walking away as it has become an ongoing practice on this path of awakening. Much of what I used to love, hold dear or enjoy has lost its meaning and had to be released to a past owned by an old self.

The hardest moments are when I realize the misalignment with someone I love and have shared meaningful and magical experiences with, the mind and subconscious tend to grasp and want to hold on to experiences and people as they live in the illusion of separation and scarcity due to the conditioning of this world. Tempting or bullying me to disbelief what people have shown me.

I sometimes give in and try to hold on to false hopes of “maybe things will change?”or “maybe they will learn and grow?” and yet intuition never fails to have the truth of it when it gently whispers that I better move on. When I give in and try to make something work or my ego plays at putting the blame on me and tells me to be more embracing of someone’s otherness it just leads to even harsher reveals of incompatibility and more painful exposures of issues and dynamics.

Being aware through such moments and seeing things unfold through the dual vision of lower and higher self reveals much about my conditioning and its tools in leading me towards pain and suffering instead of leading me towards joy and love. I see the parts and beliefs in me that sabotage and sacrifice me while trying to grasp for something non-existent or lacking in value.

“Taurus and Taurus Rising — The self, new beginnings, vitality. You will be reborn, reinvented. You will change how you look or something fundamental about who you are and how you express it. You will revolutionize your life. You will let go.” ~ Empowering Astrology

A challenging and expansive process of correcting self- esteem and rebuilding the concept of self as Uranus gifted me with revolutionary insights, new perceptions and knowing of Self is under way.

This year Taureans were taught to value our selves, gifts and skills more than we did before in a misguided sense of humility, many insights driving home how often we have been throwing “pearls to swine” in our underestimation of the value of our presence, attention, time, love, energy and support… just to earn the ingratitude and injustice meant to awaken us to our foolishness.  

If Taureans now had a scale, like our Venusian Libra brethren, our scale would not measure simply the justice and balance of things but also the precise value of what is brought to the scales by the respective parties. 

With the emergent self and knowing relationships are being weighed and discerned on many new levels and the creator in me is revisiting if I want to invest more energy or choose to take it elsewhere where it yields better and higher returns. My abundance and wealth of energy and love will not be squandered any longer, it will be mindfully put at the service of Life, of my wellbeing and that of loved ones or contained until I am guided to give of it.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

Regardless of our signs we all relate conditionally even if love is unconditional. Understanding the way relating with others affects us on various levels inspired me to reflect upon my life path and how those I spend the most time with are aligned with these or might detract from them.

At first this was just from a psychological perspective, assuming that our mirror neurons unconsciously adapt us to our direct environment. Yet delving deeper into mystery schools and learning about energy, theories of frequency, resonance and quantum geometry have given this a more profound dimension.

If we by sympathetic resonance emulate the energy around us to the point of developing the same physical and mental illnesses as the people we surround ourselves with or by epigenetically changing the settings of our DNA then who we relate to and in which way has serious ramifications that go beyond someone merely discouraging us from reaching goals. It becomes a matter of our overall wellbeing: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.

With that a deeper awareness and new conditions for relating have emerged for me, not from a stance of fear but from the excitement of creating positive charged surroundings that not only uplift us but help me stay healthy and strong. 

So if anyone doesn’t have a committed and daily practice of awareness, heart-centeredness and keeping their vibrations up and be open and grateful to those enlightening them on their blindspots… they can be in my life but not in my inner circle. This is not about negativity or toxicity – we all carry enough of that within us to be hard pressed to “throw the first stone” no this is about how we manage our own energy, boundaries and how conscious and knowledgable we are of our inner workings.

I observe with little joy how many men have been socialized to unconsciously rely on women to do the emotional work for them and turn on them if they respectfully decline to do that or when their shadow is made aware to them in gentle and playful ways. I understand the fragility, I understand overwhelm I find myself still too often there… but if you do not have the ability to bounce back from such a drift in ego and see things from a higher perspective or even better have the capacity to follow another when they lead you to a meta perspective on the behavioral patterns playing out between you…. then we lack a fundamental tool of relating, growing and rising in connection and I will retreat from engaging because it becomes strenuous and pointless to me.

If you don’t like to think and reflect much on life, this world and yourself we are not very compatible as my path is one of inquiry and knowledge and I thank you for teaching me about that.

If you do not hold yourself to the same high values and principles you expect of others or if you hold no one to any values in a bypassing “acceptance of all as it is” we are not compatible as integrity is a core theme of this incarnation for me and I thank you for teaching me about that.

If you delve into teachings and knowledge without the wish or capacity to retain or embody them we are not compatible, my path is about practicing and embodying resonant truth and I thank you for teaching me about that.

If you cannot generate joy, love and equanimity on your own but “need me” to do so, not just in times of hardship but because you do not put the work into it, we are not compatible as sovereignty and equality are at the foundation of all my relationships and I thank you for teaching me about that.

I bow in gratitude to H. who taught me many of these invaluable lessons and much more. 

I honor my intuition, higher Self, guides and Source for helping me navigate through this beautiful challenge, for the gifts of knowing and seeing true and the deepening of my blissful relationship with the Beloved.

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