Disappointment

Disappointment is a wondersome and often misunderstood teacher. There are many layers and subtleties to its gifts of insight into my unhelpful beliefs, forgotten pain, behavioral and thought patterns, and my sweet little girl‘s longings that remained unfulfilled. Illuminating attachments in need of attention, transformation, or release. Alerting me to contractions, stuck energy, and tensions alive in my body.  Inviting me to become intimate with the complex ways I...

Expressing Appreciation

I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...

How I Engage with Life and People

I am observing people misreading who I am and what it takes to be part of my experience. Which may be due to ignorance or forgetfulness, regardless of the reasons, here is a reminder on how I operate and how it affects my social engagements and relationships. I am naturally generous I love giving and sharing what is mine to share, there is no joy for me in hoarding...

History to HERSTORY

I have patiently sat with my pain and anger, learned the lessons that I attracted for this part of my journey and affirmed, once again, my wholehearted commitment to Self and Source. Now the time has come to close out this chapter, to cut ties with these aspects of the past, discard what is dead, let go of what no longer is life-enhancing and head towards creating happiness, love...

Masculine Leadership and Feminine Submission

It is so compelling to let someone else take the lead and surrender or take the position of leadership and dominate. After all the journey has been long and we had to fight and work hard on our own and feel depleted or tired or felt disempowered and unacknowledged and will grasp at any chance to leave that behind. When I look at it closely and feel into my...

Laughing and Reflecting

I am laughing at the absurdity of investing my energy in trying to co-create a relationship with someone and then allowing myself to be drained and depleted, experience rejection, neglect, emotional scarcity and other painful states in the process of it… when I KNOW, from experience, that putting only a tenth of that energy in my relationship with Self and Source creates an overflow of contentment, love, creativity, passion...

Mind, Intuition and Consciousness

But what after all, behind appearances, is this seeming mystery? We can see that it is the Consciousness which had lost itself returning again to itself, emerging out of its giant self-forgetfulness, slowly, painfully, as a Life that is, would be sentient, half-sentient, dimly sentient, wholly sentient and finally struggles to be more than sentient, to be again divinely self conscious, free, infinite, immortal. ~ Sri Aurobindo I often use...

Commitment to Love

The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom. ~ bell hooks, Outlaw Culture My journey of self-integration and healing can be narrated as a journey of commitment to love for...

Dating

As I am opening to dating again I am having interesting experiences and challenges after years of retreating and mainly warding off unwanted attention. There is power in consciously shifting our energy to open to other beings and welcoming unions and partnerships into our life. Being invested in self work, growth, non-monogamy, spirituality, travel and interculturality and living a rather eccentric life made for amusing experiences of being lost...

Gateways to True Life

I will end this lecture by telling you that the fear is not real. It is truly an illusion, but you must go through it by feeling it. Through the gateway of feeling your weakness lies your strength; through the gateway of feeling your pain lies your pleasure and joy; through the gateway of feeling your fear lies your security and safety; through the gateway of feeling your loneliness...

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