As I am opening to dating again I am having interesting experiences and challenges after years of retreating and mainly warding off unwanted attention. There is power in consciously shifting our energy to open to other beings and welcoming unions and partnerships into our life.
Being invested in self work, growth, non-monogamy, spirituality, travel and interculturality and living a rather eccentric life made for amusing experiences of being lost in translation and struggling with relating to mindsets left behind years ago in the first encounters. I felt the challenge of having to change gears and dust off skills I had put aside as they were unnecessary in my small corner of the world.
Dating instantly made me uncomfortably aware of the privileges my life afforded me and which I have and am building on. Not that I deny them or pretend else-wise, the discomfort arises through realizations of the disparity in the lack of opportunity and access others had and have.
I am confronted with the height of what I chose as a baseline of relating as they struggle to even fathom aspects of communication and relating that feel as basic as the ABC to my reality and circles. Leading me to inquire into and weigh the importance of being accessible and relatable and the need for self care and energy efficiency. Refining my philosophical and spiritual stances on engaging with others.
Surprising and thought-provoking conversations giving me insights into the lived realities of others are like jolts of electricity reviving parts of me that had gone nigh dormant in my years of immersion. I am called to revisit relational and erotic preferences as a “new” me to intuit and know where I stand, what works for me now and what no longer is of value or relevance to me. Contrasts and stark positions expressed as well as observations of my embodied responses (sensations, gut feelings) facilitate clarity in areas I had neglected or which were of low interest to me until now.
I am truly enjoying the commencing of this new journey with all its miscommunications, disruptions, vexations and joys of meeting fascinating, endearing and underwhelming new people. I am not fixated on outcomes and much more excited by what unfolds, what wants to be seen and learned and what inspires and impassions me.
It is good to bask in Venusian energy and cycle with nature into the aliveness and potentiality of spring.