As many things in my experience the health issues I had to face in the past year served as an initiation into subtler levels of the mystery of embodied life. Which I, as usual, only can realize more fully now. Illness, especially one that is connected with a potential for death, has a way of triggering existential fears. Fears as old as our ancestral lineages, fears embedded in every...
Inner landscapes in ourselves and others are exquisitely diverse and fill my life with awe, surprise, insights, and the joy of exploration. Like the landscapes of our mother Gaia they come in many wondersome manifestations worthy of exploration and delight. I am becoming gratefully aware how blessed I have been in my life to have preserved and protected the fertility of my inner landscapes and to be surrounded with...
I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...
On the surface level I am not different to everyone else I might pass on the street. After all I still am embodied, hold a conditioned personality matrix in the mind, and experience life primarily from a human experiential vantage point. And yet the internal experience and quality of life and aliveness is very different to what I once experienced at earlier points of this lifetime. Life has dramatically...
I realize that many people do not get the full scope of the meaning the word healing holds for me and others who are on a similar life path or who engage in their and other people’s healing with discernment and awareness. For most people the word healing describes a goal-focused process akin to the healing of a cut in our skin: a localized process of hurt, inflammation, scabbing...
I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....
“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than to choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~ Marianne Williamson For a long time I have been perceiving things along the lines of this quote, believing it to be a primarily a question of individual courage if someone walks a path of self discovery and self...
Dating makes me acutely aware of my unique communication style, preferences, and language skills, which for the longest time remained hidden in exchanges with soul kin and close friends. When communicating with people who lack an aligned spiritual background, or who have not delved into it as far, my mind starts translating, explaining, and becoming more detailed in conveying its meaning. Realizing the difference in cosmologies and how these...
After A While After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises, And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open, With the grace of a woman, not the grief...
How do I explain to him that something about his physique triggered deep feelings of repulsion and disgust, which are owed to experiences with an abusive person from my childhood? How do I explain that my mind is reeling while trying to differentiate and keep apart timelines, feelings and persons? How do I own and express to him that I know it’s unfair that he is affected by my...
