We live in times where most have conditioned responses originating from subconscious fear and shame imprints expressing through an unwillingness to confront, listen and contemplate, with ridicule and judgement which are often in tandem with and egoic false superiority towards anything not in line with personal opinions or current cultural or scientific theories and beliefs. Our wiser ancestral traditions had the ability to engage with ideas, be they opinions...
“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were...
Men. It is imperative that we respect a woman’s “No”. Bow to it. Really really hear it. And if her “No” brings us pain and discomfort, it is imperative that we own that pain, take full responsibility for it. That we give ourselves full permission to feel disappointed, rejected, sad, afraid, abandoned. That we own these uncomfortable feelings, and do not ‘take them out’ on her in our search...
“In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man...
“Self-loathing is a poison so many of us drink. We cocoon in its phlegm and lose ourselves. And then we starting looking to other people to nourish our souls; to feed us attention, validation, completion, love. And when the dose is insufficient, we put others down – to their faces, in our heads -because sucking energy out of people for a whiff of fast food superiority is juicy, fatty...
“Good relationships trigger the hell out of us without trashing the relationship; great relationships trigger the hell out of us while deepening the relationship. And the best relationships use whatever happens, however difficult or disheartening, not only to deepen the relationship but also to awaken us beyond it. What does not work in a relationship (assuming that neither partner is abusing the other) is what can make it truly...
Almost is a strange little word that can express very different perspectives and conclusions. It can be a hopeful word, edging us on to persevere and reach our goal or it can express the frustration or sadness of missing a goal by a fraction. Almost good enough Almost good enough can make you choose to happily settle for it and be content or find yourself regretful over not persisting...
“We are mortal creatures of living and dying and how we love and what we love is conditional upon where we stand in the drama and the seasonality of that living and dying. Love may be sanctified and ennobled by its commitment to the unconditional horizon of perfection, but what makes love real in the human world seems to be our moving, struggling conversation with that wanted horizon rather...
Empathy isn’t just listening, it’s asking the questions whose answers need to be listened to. Empathy requires inquiry as much as imagination. Empathy requires knowing you know nothing. Empathy means acknowledging a horizon of context that extends perpetually beyond what you can see. ~ Leslie Jamison Empathy is a fundamentally important element of relationship skills and indispensable for holding space. Though it is often defined as imagining what something would...
“Something changes the moment you decide you’ve found a person you are ready to reveal parts of your soul to. Something stands out and makes the moment unique. A profound multidimensional clarity resembling a piece of carefully gathered stardust; As if you are whispering “finally” and your eyes fill with light and spontaneity. As if you do not care whether your heart will melt or crumble in the process...
