“Something changes the moment you decide you’ve found a person you are ready to reveal parts of your soul to. Something stands out and makes the moment unique. A profound multidimensional clarity resembling a piece of carefully gathered stardust; As if you are whispering “finally” and your eyes fill with light and spontaneity. As if you do not care whether your heart will melt or crumble in the process because your brief courage undoes your tremendous fear of disbelief. You live for these moments; For you are, maybe for one second or more, sweetly forced to surrender yourself to unconditional intimacy. A moment of psychological reward smashing all self-imposed disciplines founded on terror. This is all you need.”
~ Anaïs Nin
The above is mostly a flash which is followed by a reverting to a guarded relating as long as we have not invested ourselves extensively in self and shadow work. Until then we are cowed by “self-imposed disciplines founded on terror” which curtail our ability to open and meet our lover in vulnerability.
Once we have done our work and meet a beloved who has done so as well the discarding of our guarded stance and protective patterns becomes the gateway and foundation of deeper intimacy, trust, openness and expansive love than we have ever known. Our hearts and souls long for the freedom of this type of relating which is why we exhale “finally” when we dare to step into the unknown with our beloved.
Unconditional intimacy is especially challenging for those who carry relational trauma and at the same time it is the most transformative of healing experiences we can ask for. It might take a few attempts at opening and subsequent constrictions until our nervous system adapts to this new experience by switching from fight and flight to rest and digest. Our bodies need to experience repeatedly that it is safe to be vulnerable and trust our beloved before they relax and lean into this new experience and are receptive to the ensuing elation and connection.
May all of us meet loving beings who allow us to open fully and may we be the same to others.
Photography by Braden Summers