I have often contemplated and written about the various types of attraction I have experienced in my life. Their different attributes and effects on my being. In the beginning of my non-monogamous journey I would spend endless hours with fellow adventurers trying to verbalize the nature of attraction I experienced with different people and the qualities of connection available with them. Ever since these early days I have observed...
I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...
It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...
For teaching me more on WHOLENESS by encouraging me to set more internal and external boundaries to codependency and enmeshment and practice healthy detachment. For letting me repose in and relish desireless EMPTINESS and delight in embodying the void. For making me ask myself how I can bring more of the qualities of the VOID to my experiences and encounters. For teaching me to face REALITY as it is...
This year has been about realizing and embracing uncomfortable truths, making hard decisions and holding myself accountable to a higher standard than before. It has been a year of illuminating and cleaning up what my ego successfully hid under carpets and in dark corners of my mind. A year of cutting out little and not so little ways my ego cuts corners with regards to my health and wellbeing...
It is hard for me to find adequate words for the experience I find myself immersed in. I am in awe and floating in an ocean of gratitude for the tender loving care I am experiencing at the hands of my Self as she heeded my call for support in healing and transmuting the distortions I hold in my field. Another way of describing said distortions would be trauma,...
This is my third month of implementing more fully and consistently changes to my social interactions and engagements which I have been contemplating and been drawn to for the past two years. One of my ongoing experiments to find better alignment between my inner world and external expressions focusing on appreciation. I stopped congratulating people on their birthdays This is a rather funny thing to me as I wasn’t...
Once again the fabric of life has woven our threads together and rekindled feelings of love in my heart as fond memories came to life. I doubt the flame ever died down in me, though I rarely allowed myself to dwell on us in the years since our break up. Maybe the strange experiences of the past months served to show me that I had kept loving you way...
I am grateful for those of my loves who had close encounters with death and were protected.⠀ I am grateful for another year with precious moments of joy, laughter and gratitude given to beloveds who experience chronic or serious illnesses. I am grateful for those, who steeped in darkness, were tempted to leave this life behind yet chose to stay and grace us with their unique beingness.⠀ I am...
Today I woke to the most sublime contemplations of all the beautiful and expansive ways I have been loved and met by some of my lovers and partners. A thoroughly pleasurable reminder of what has been more than worthy of my love, attention, time and work. A morning that had me following the lead of mama Venus and reminiscing in the best possible way about the most elevated relating...
