Growing up in a family where people displayed codependent and covert narcissistic traits my system was entrained with a lot of misperceptions and distortions. Making me all too comfortable with dynamics and relational patterns that were not only unfulfilling and asymmetric but also harmful to my mental and physical wellbeing. This is why I had to explore and learn the differences and qualities of being needed, wanted, and valued....
For teaching me more on WHOLENESS by encouraging me to set more internal and external boundaries to codependency and enmeshment and practice healthy detachment. For letting me repose in and relish desireless EMPTINESS and delight in embodying the void. For making me ask myself how I can bring more of the qualities of the VOID to my experiences and encounters. For teaching me to face REALITY as it is...
This year has been about realizing and embracing uncomfortable truths, making hard decisions and holding myself accountable to a higher standard than before. It has been a year of illuminating and cleaning up what my ego successfully hid under carpets and in dark corners of my mind. A year of cutting out little and not so little ways my ego cuts corners with regards to my health and wellbeing...
Once again the fabric of life has woven our threads together and rekindled feelings of love in my heart as fond memories came to life. I doubt the flame ever died down in me, though I rarely allowed myself to dwell on us in the years since our break up. Maybe the strange experiences of the past months served to show me that I had kept loving you way...
“Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.” ~ William P. Young I am grateful...
