There are many facets and sides to me. Sides most of you never encountered, regardless if they are light or dark. It has been a long journey of coming to terms with the broadness of the spectrum of emotions, behaviors and thoughts I am capable of holding and embodying. A long journey to embrace the parts that triggered my fears and deeply embedded and repressed feelings of shame. There...
It is hard for me to find adequate words for the experience I find myself immersed in. I am in awe and floating in an ocean of gratitude for the tender loving care I am experiencing at the hands of my Self as she heeded my call for support in healing and transmuting the distortions I hold in my field. Another way of describing said distortions would be trauma,...
In 1990, Maureen Murdock wrote The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness as a response to Joseph Campbell’s model. Murdock, a student of Campbell’s work, felt his model failed to address the specific psycho-spiritual journey of contemporary women. She developed a model describing the cyclical nature of the female experience. Campbell’s response to her model was, “Women don’t need to make the journey. In the whole mythological tradition the...
There are parts in me that prefer to bypass and avoid what was or is painful, deemed by them as shameful or inappropriate for conversation. They are the reason I learned not to mince words and call things by their true name instead of sugarcoating. These parts in me are complicit in keeping me tethered to the past and keep recreating suffering over and over again. If I cannot...
There is a pattern in my life of men feeling inferior or less than me. My responses to it varying between trying to ignore it, degrees of discomfort, trying to make them realize its untruth, feeling frustrated, a shame fueled repulsion or numbness towards them…. which sometimes ended up disrupting or even ending relationships I otherwise valued highly. I had witnessed with increasing awareness the emotional charge held in...
I will end this lecture by telling you that the fear is not real. It is truly an illusion, but you must go through it by feeling it. Through the gateway of feeling your weakness lies your strength; through the gateway of feeling your pain lies your pleasure and joy; through the gateway of feeling your fear lies your security and safety; through the gateway of feeling your loneliness...
“Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior.” ~ Carl Jung I have spent large parts of the past years witnessing my shadow aspects as closely as I could while living my mundane life. You could say my awareness was permanently split in external and internal awareness for the duration of their arising and raging. Which was often. There is an eerie duality of drives when facing the...
There are feelings and memories frozen in time, their exquisiteness a memory of love and adoration held suspended in a timeless sphere. When I happened upon them by serendipity I was taken by their forgotten beauty, my heart resonant with love and joy as memories light as delicate scents enchanted my mind. Slowing down I breathe into this experience, a reawakening and experiencing of what I had deemed gone...
Most people have never heard of transmutation in a psychological or spiritual context or any idea of its possibilities and gifts. Transmutation is the transformation of one element into another – a historically alchemical concept. Transmutation doesn’t easily fit into the linear materialistic and brittle westernized mind. Minds that have not been given knowledge and understanding of our fluid and changeable make up and thereby limiting and obstructing our...
When I talk or write about shadow work I mean the practice and work of making the shadow conscious, confronting and getting to know what we unconsciously keep hidden from ourselves. “The shadow goes by many familiar names: the disowned self, the lower self, the dark twin or brother in bible and myth, the double, repressed self, alter ego, id. When we come face-to-face with our darker side, we...
