Cold Flowers

There are feelings and memories frozen in time, their exquisiteness a memory of love and adoration held suspended in a timeless sphere.

When I happened upon them by serendipity I was taken by their forgotten beauty, my heart resonant with love and joy as memories light as delicate scents enchanted my mind. Slowing down I breathe into this experience, a reawakening and experiencing of what I had deemed gone and lost. My mind losing itself in the flickering timelines of what has been, what is and what could be.

How did I know to approach these cold flowers with the wonder and awe that allowed them to release their fragrance? How was I not apprehensive of their decay and the sharp pain of their loss? Where does this new calmness and inner peace in the face of emotional and mental upheavals originate?

I hold the fragrance of these blossoms gently in my heart as my internal gaze wanders to the one who once shared them with me. The mystery shrouded in the form of man, whose inner gardens were familiar once. The years of silence have made hime a stranger, my inner image of him oscillating with questions and images flooding my mind in the void of the now.

Can I stay a little while in this in between and let my heart drink its fill of the fragrant love it once held before moving on? Will I be able to embrace him as the one he is today without projecting the imagery of the past on him? Can I trust myself after all this to see him true? Will he have evolved to show up in a way that is aligned with the new me? Will I still find the value and resonance I once held so dearly in our connection?

Anchoring to this moment and its breath, inhaling “I AM”, exhaling “HERE NOW” feeling my presence in all of my body. Grounded, anchored in Spirit and self love my emotions flow and my mind moves back to equanimity and neutrality.

Observing with gratitude and awe as the cold flowers are reborn and integrated in my inner landscape forming a field of colorful and timeless blossoming and fragrance. No longer feared or idealized they become part of my experiences and knowing, informing my choices without unduly coloring or limiting them.

The gifts of mindfulness are turning my inner world into the most diverse, rich and lovely landscape to wander and repose in.

Photography: cold flowers by Marc Wuchner
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