I have been noticing lately several people pointing out that what they are currently looking for in relating is emotional safety. And it made me reflect on why that didn’t fully resonate with what I am experiencing and wanting to delve into more. Safety has for the longest time been on the forefront of my mind, though it referred to physical safety from potential harm through violence. But that...
The last year taught me more on subtle nuances to boundaries, and opened up a whole new aspect I have not yet engaged with. I was shown which hopes and desires, born of deficits and woundings of my childhood, still hold a level of power that effortlessly crosses and blinds me to my boundaries until harm has been incurred. A painful insight into the workings of patterns alive in...
After A While After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises, And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open, With the grace of a woman, not the grief...
How do I explain to him that something about his physique triggered deep feelings of repulsion and disgust, which are owed to experiences with an abusive person from my childhood? How do I explain that my mind is reeling while trying to differentiate and keep apart timelines, feelings and persons? How do I own and express to him that I know it’s unfair that he is affected by my...
I have observed within me a push and pull dynamic with regards to the concept of Power Couples. In wanting to explore which aspects about it attract and which repel me, or more precisely which parts of me and for what reason, I have been led on a beautifully explorative journey. A journey shared and enriched in parts with friends, who were kind enough to share their impression of...
In a dharma talk I listened to yesterday Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) shared that in Vietnam husbands and wives call each other 'my home' which in its beauty and along his insights on the nature of said home inspired deeper reflections in me. Making a home of ourself in his spiritual sense means the cultivation and practice of self compassion, loving embrace of all that arises, and turning towards our...
As I am in an ongoing process of checking in with my heart and self on my current wishes and preferences around relationships and partners I shall share some of my tools and insights. Today I want to share one of my playful visioning tools of inquiry into my being’s current vision of an aligned beloved and partner: Give yourself enough undisturbed time for this explorative journey. Make yourself...
In my early teens I read this sentence “Be like an Empress in love” which resonates to this day with me. Its meaning has deepened and expanded into different dimensions over time. From where I am today it stands for loving from a knowing of my own abundance, wholeness and sovereignty, and it speaks to loving, caring, nurturing and giving generously from a discerning and conscious heart. Loving like...
What is transparency in relationships? Transparency means to be open, honest and truthful.In the context of relationships, it is vital to the evolution of the partnership. It shows trust in our partners and our ability to be vulnerable and let someone in to what we are experiencing. Without transparency, there is no sharing and it shuts down growth. Lack of transparency or openness can cause issues in relationships. Deflection...
“If we think that other people can do us good, we will also think the opposite, that they can do us harm. It is an esoteric principle that neither is true. It is a subtle form of idol worship to think that anyone of himself does anything good or bad for us. However, others can be channels for our good. Genuine fulfillment arises from within yourself. To feel alive...
