Internal Conversations

Here is what a conversations with my goody-two-shoes (GTS) part used to be like:

Mind “He is fun and i enjoy the conversations we have but he is not my type, I am not attracted to him physically.“
GTS  “You cannot be so superficial, it’s the personality that counts, looks will fade away but the personality stays. You are not being very spiritual, are you?“

Inner Child “He does not respect my boundaries. I don’t think a relationship with someone like that has a future!“
GTS “Come on, you can be quite ____  yourself – you have to cut people some slack unless you are perfect. He can learn and grow, give him time. His other traits are not too bad, you liked them in the beginning didn’t you?“

Mind “He keeps doing it over and over. I see no understanding nor a want to change and learn to honor my boundaries. I am wasting my time – waiting for a tiger to change his stripes would be less hopeless than this. we need to move on!“
GTS “He might just need more time, this is just your impatience acting up. He is intelligent, he will surely get it in time…“

As convincing as goody-two-shoes’ points may seem my past experience shows whenever I listened to it I achieved „no conflict“ at the price of my aliveness and had to put up with undesirable experiences. I do appreciate this voices temperance of reactivity in my life, but I am no longer willing to allow it to make me SETTLE FOR LESS than is available.

I deserve to be happy in my own way, in the truths of my deepest soul even if these do not align with being “good”. I allow still too many unwanted experiences to prevail in the name of learning, when it takes a simple decision to change them. From now on goody-two-shoes will have to be in the backseat while other aspects will be the main creators of my experience.

I do not want to harm other people but I would rather discomfort them with my truth than suffer the effects of settling for what I do not want and live a lie. Especially when i know from experience that expressing and living my truths have always been rewarded with happiness and joyful experiences!

Allow for the things you wish to prevail and let go of what doesn’t serve you!

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