The Unmet Yielding into Wholeness

It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...

Healing

I realize that many people do not get the full scope of the meaning the word healing holds for me and others who are on a similar life path or who engage in their and other people’s healing with discernment and awareness. For most people the word healing describes a goal-focused process akin to the healing of a cut in our skin: a localized process of hurt, inflammation, scabbing...

Online Dating

I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....

Thank You 2021

For teaching me more on WHOLENESS by encouraging me to set more internal and external boundaries to codependency and enmeshment and practice healthy detachment. For letting me repose in and relish desireless EMPTINESS and delight in embodying the void. For making me ask myself how I can bring more of the qualities of the VOID to my experiences and encounters. For teaching me to face REALITY as it is...

Unbreak and let me Blossom in Wholeness and Union Beloved

There are these strangely beautiful moments when a catalyst lures me in with an energy I read as promise of a joyful connection as I have not yet experienced in this incarnation but my soul is one with. They often took me by surprise, arising mostly in chance encounters that sparkled with a special kind of glitter. But none of these have been as potent and devastatingly glorious as the...

On Fragility, Tenderness and Sensitivity

I was raised in adverse circumstances that favored and rewarded strength and harshness and mercilessly exploited tenderness and sensitivity to torture and deride the little girl I once was. To survive I emulated these attitudes consciously and subconsciously in parts of my internal tribe. Inadvertently and sadly taking up the role of abuser towards myself and others in its wake. Rarely allowing myself to feel or own moments of...

The sweetness of being loved by Self

It is hard for me to find adequate words for the experience I find myself immersed in. I am in awe and floating in an ocean of gratitude for the tender loving care I am experiencing at the hands of my Self as she heeded my call for support in healing and transmuting the distortions I hold in my field. Another way of describing said distortions would be trauma,...

The Oppressor in Me

The most challenging experience I have had to date is facing, knowing and meeting the oppressor and victimizer in me. Meeting this archetype, expressing consciously and unconsciously through me, with curiosity, facing the judgements and attachments I observe arising in me when engaging with her or being identified with her, feeling the emotional responses of shame, guilt, anger, frustration, sadness and grief, contemplating the artificial sense of power, safety...

Woman

Someone may have told youPerhaps long agoThat you need a man To complete youThat on your ownYou’re only half of what you will be When you find “The One”It was implied By the tragic fairytalesAnd the Hollywood romance moviesBut it was all a lieYour power comes from no where elseFrom no one elseBut from inside of youYou are here to stand whole To emanate magic First, on your own...

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