Inner landscapes in ourselves and others are exquisitely diverse and fill my life with awe, surprise, insights, and the joy of exploration. Like the landscapes of our mother Gaia they come in many wondersome manifestations worthy of exploration and delight. I am becoming gratefully aware how blessed I have been in my life to have preserved and protected the fertility of my inner landscapes and to be surrounded with...
Reconnecting with beloved connections, which had been absent for a while from my life, has a gentle healing effect on my relational system. As memories birth ever new feelings, thoughts, and sensations my present awareness observes it all, while engaging with the beloved friend. Observing the layering of memory born sensations, watching feelings and thoughts scoring initial moments of reconnection, like music enhances and colors a movie. First there...
I have often contemplated and written about the various types of attraction I have experienced in my life. Their different attributes and effects on my being. In the beginning of my non-monogamous journey I would spend endless hours with fellow adventurers trying to verbalize the nature of attraction I experienced with different people and the qualities of connection available with them. Ever since these early days I have observed...
The last year taught me more on subtle nuances to boundaries, and opened up a whole new aspect I have not yet engaged with. I was shown which hopes and desires, born of deficits and woundings of my childhood, still hold a level of power that effortlessly crosses and blinds me to my boundaries until harm has been incurred. A painful insight into the workings of patterns alive in...
The more I retreat from socializing virtuallyThe more I am unavailableThe richer my remaining encounters and relationships are A lovely paradox to live, navigate and experience. That is one way of putting my latest experiment in relating in a nutshell, of course the experience itself is much more nuanced and the insights gained multidimensional and manyfold. Retreating from social media and its temptations in staying connected with those, who...
I am realizing how much I have been habituated to a ‘subculture’ expressive in appreciation, compassion and love, which is far removed from the usual way of relating in this world. It has been a key part of my healing journey to be surrounded by soul kin who embody a more attuned, loving, and verbally expressive appreciation for life. They have modeled a better, or rather a more natural...
It took me 49 years to finally accept and make peace with the fact that many friendships, and almost all friendships with men, will leave parts of me deeply unmet and starved in regards to emotional connectivity and flow. This made itself repeatedly, painfully and non-negotiably clear on an emotional level of perception and knowing of my experience. I am fascinated how hard it is for the tender and...
I believe no one was more surprised than me when my intuition gave me a nudge to start online dating again after having stepped back from it for years. And what a very different experience it was this time around thanks to the ways I have changed. I was not attached to the outcome and it felt like an eerie experiment or adventure life was sending me out on....
Growing up in a family where people displayed codependent and covert narcissistic traits my system was entrained with a lot of misperceptions and distortions. Making me all too comfortable with dynamics and relational patterns that were not only unfulfilling and asymmetric but also harmful to my mental and physical wellbeing. This is why I had to explore and learn the differences and qualities of being needed, wanted, and valued....
I am observing people misreading who I am and what it takes to be part of my experience. Which may be due to ignorance or forgetfulness, regardless of the reasons, here is a reminder on how I operate and how it affects my social engagements and relationships. I am naturally generous I love giving and sharing what is mine to share, there is no joy for me in hoarding...
