I have empathy and compassion for how my self expression makes you respond. I understand that my expressions can allow your system to utilize and distort them to self-abuse or self-denigrate and elicit defensiveness and attacks on me.
Nonetheless, as you might have experienced, I will stay true to myself and express what wants to be expressed in the moment. Not from a lack of care for your feelings but from love for myself and in honor of our sovereignty and relationship.
As much or little as I might be willing to hold space and support you in your processes, your responses and patterns will always be your responsibility to work with and handle.
I will neither enable patterns of self abuse nor accept patterns of egoic grandeur that express in stabs or other attempts at cutting me down.
If the quality of our connection, circumstances and your level of awareness allow for it I will share my observations on the dynamics I observe between us. When I do so it is an invitation to feel into, analyze and playfully integrate the dynamic. When I do not address it I have concluded it wouldn’t be helpful or resolvable as awareness and/or resources might be lacking.
The more intensely I am met with your discomfort or resistance to my being me or sharing of knowing without the possibility of shared resolution, the less I will choose your presence in my experience.
Don’t get m wrong, I appreciate and am grateful for the lessons in self love and being true to self you afford me and I don’t mind holding space for your processes. Yet when given a choice of how to spend my time I currently prefer the presence of people who enrich my life with evolutionary, easy or at least playful co-creations.
Did you notice that I wrote currently?
That is owed to the fact that I am currently in a cycle of dedicated and in-depth recalibration of self, investing the majority of my energy and awareness on changing me to be a more balanced and whole version of my being.
At some later point in my journey I might be up to play along with your scripts of self-deprecation and abuse as a means of holding space for your evolution into more self love and balance. And maybe I won’t.
I don’t know… what I know is that we are always loved and will be guided and support perfectly whenever and however we need it. So if I decline to dance with you, the Universe will assure you get the perfect partner to be successful in your learning and lessons.
I love you and trust you to embrace your worthiness and infinite lovability in your unique self expression.
Photography: Zev aka fiddle oak