Sometimes we come across something or someone who stirs recollections of beauty, mystery and possibilities of pleasures once desired and almost forgotten. Like this beautiful space most unexpectedly nested in a garden I was led to in Germany. From afar I expected it to be magical and have an air of zen and deeper harmony about it.⠀

And as we get closer to it, as we see through the lens of our dreams, desires and wishes reality in front of us makes itself known incrementally or massively and disillusionment leaves us disappointed as reality fell short of our inner vision.⠀

Now I cannot blame this little space to be devoid of a higher harmony and peace I associate its eastern build with. I understand that replicating or appropriating another cultures heritage doesn’t come with an understanding of the cosmology and knowing of how to choose the proper location and create harmony in a given spot.⠀

I can only thank this experience for alerting me to my wish and need for what I expected of it. I can appreciate its beauty and the fact that it serves others perfectly as it is and acknowledge its imperfect perfection… and choose to move along my quest for the longing it awakened.⠀

In the same way not everyone who comes into my life, regardless of how much I love them and the experiences we are sharing, is always what I want or need longterm. They are who I need now, for the experiences and growth spirit manifests to awaken and empower me to be more Self lead and vice versa of course.⠀

I used to get frustrated and want to leave asap, wanting to get this disappointing experience behind me and “finally arrive” but now I understand there is no putting things behind me before their time is up and this journey is not about arrival but about being as fully present with what is as I can and observe how things unfold. Not in resignation or defeat but as a choice to be patient, trusting and open to what I am being taught and gifted.⠀

I still feel sadness over what is missing at times… yet this sadness is transforming into the excitement of knowing that it is coming my way now that I am conscious of my wish for it. ⠀

I know it is mine already.

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