For letting me repose in and relish desireless EMPTINESS and delight in embodying the void.

For making me ask myself how I can bring more of the qualities of the VOID to my experiences and encounters.

For teaching me to face REALITY as it is and stop fighting, denying, or projecting upon it from fear and a lack of acceptance.

For helping me get crystal clear who ‘my kind of people’ are by correcting my perceptions of embodied and lived SPIRITUALITY and alignment with my being.

For making me read Alexandra Stein’s “Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems” and plunging me into revisiting my past to purge more of the damages incurred by MANIPULATION, BETRAYAL, COERCION and OPPRESSION. A harrowing and dark experience which liberated me and created space for more possibilities in my perceptions and life.

For ongoing and potent DREAMWORK to release past woundings and misperception, inspire new lines of inquiry, and to introduce new emotional and energetic set points.

For deepening my lessons on FULLY SURRENDERING to SELF, teaching me to let go of willing and instead to intend and show up, while trusting deeply in the fulfillment of my Soul’s desires. Releasing more of my identifications with my tribe of selves as well as becoming more compassionate and considerate of them.

Teaching me that the BLISS the mystics speak of is not just to be found in ‘peak experiences’ or ‘peak phenomena’ but also in the elation derived from surrender to Self, heart-centered being (not emotion-centered being there is a crucial difference), the integration of shadow, and the transmutation of the conditioned self through the luminous power of consciousness. This kind of bliss is not reliant on external circumstances or the absence of pain or suffering, its subtle and pervasive nature shines through all of experience and brings levity and joy to the attuned being, which in turn allows for even more expansion into being and blissfulness.

For healing more of my MISPERCEPTIONS and ATTACHMENTS to one of my parents, moving me from the toxicity of neediness and resentment towards compassionate detachment.

For DEARMORING me and teaching me to feel more and cultivate useful skills in navigating life from a more open and vulnerable state by deepening my trust and Self-leadership.

For guiding me to expand into PLAYFULNESS and release limiting thinking and self censorship.

For teaching me to RELATE and LOVE in a new way by gifting me with deeply meaningful and expansive explorative experiences with evolutionary minded Souls. Allowing me to get intimate with all aspects of myself and become clear on what I truly need, want, and desire in relationships and how to manifest it, whilst reminding me to beware of settling for ‘less than’ my being desires.

For giving me the realization that I no longer turn to LOVE RELATIONSHIPS as a panacea for a deficit of love, as that has been taken care of by self and tribe love, but to co-create evolutionary containers for shared magical and extraordinary adventures.

For making me conscious of the unconscious AMBIVALENCE towards men that steeped relating with them into a dualistic dynamic of desire/delight on the one hand and fear/repulsion on the other.

For teaching me about the importance of an internal felt sense of EQUALITY, POWER, and ADMIRATION in love relationships.

For giving me opportunities to practice OPENING FULLY to a man and surrendering to the experience of relating with trust. And also reminding me that having an attraction, great connection, or feelings of love for someone doesn’t imply a need for turning it into a committed relationship.

For helping me remember, reclaim, and update old DREAMS and aspects of my being.

For inspiring me to create a new VISION BOARD from a knowing of wholeness and understanding of what fulfills and grows me instead of the distortions of desires and unconscious scarcity beliefs.

For giving me an opportunity to actively and PHYSICALLY CHANGE what doesn’t align with or serve me, which was unbelievable rewarding and important at this point of my journey. After years of having been taught to be patient and trust the unfolding without physically intervening this felt especially liberating and delightful.

For reminding me what great delight and pride I take in the WORK OF MY OWN HANDS and that it is way sweeter than enjoying the luxury of having someone else take care of stuff for me. And that no matter how tired, sore or exhausted I felt my little bull’s heart was aglow with glee.

For giving me ample opportunities to be sensing, experiencing and seeing the vastness of my STRENGTH, DISCIPLINE, and PERSISTENCE in expression and enjoy how amazing it feels.

For allowing me to discard things, which my mother had held onto without my consent or knowing, and which kept unwanted energetic cords alive with past aspects of my life. And for the delight that followed said DISCARDING as rushes of energy returned to my body and being.

For granting me the knowing that every part of me and the ego mind which operates on adversarial perceptions and narratives becomes a SLAVE to duality.

For teaching me that mastering DUALITY does not mean directing or dominating it but rather knowing its true nature and engaging it from consciousness without submitting to identifications, attachments, and dogma.

MASTERY in the mystical sense is not about domination, as that is beholden to fear not love, it is about being ONE WITH duality and playing with its seeming contrasts in creative, joyful, aligned and expansive ways. Seeing through its appearance of duality and contrast to perceive the underlying oneness.

For teaching me about the need and joy of living from ALERT PRESENCE. Not an alertness in the sense of vigilance (which is mostly rooted in fear) but alertness arising from being fully present, open and in harmonic resonance with the rhythm and flow of life.

For giving me the realization that these times call me to be with WHAT IS without getting entangled or invited into shadow play by narratives and stories wanting to wrap themselves around it. They call for my ability to stand strong in my discerning sovereignty and Self while engaging with the moment from curiosity, playfulness, compassion and love. To be CONCURRENTLY SEPARATE and ONE WITH ALL.

Teaching me to no longer allow my mind/body to be pulled in false dichotomies, meet dualities with a knowing and intent of ‘both/and’ to break the spells of limitations and distortion, and to allow Consciousness to offer new perspectives and pathways to INFINITE POSSIBILITIES from the vastness of its wisdom. New perspectives and solutions which not only help me navigate the challenges set before me but also to thrive and delight in engaging with them.

For sensitizing me to the fact that due to my experience of spiritual trauma and entrainment of a narcissistic God, I have to be mindful that the deep-set distrust and ambivalence towards said deity does not CROSS CONTAMINATE subconsciously my relationship with inner Presence (higher Self) or Source.

For teaching me to reclaim and step into my INNOCENCE and access the immense power and spaciousness it comes with as I consistently love on my inner child.

For challenging me to get past linguistic obstacles and learn to express VULNERABILITY as easily in German as I have learned to do in English. Helping me drop some of the unhelpful cultural conditionings and reigniting my love for the poetry and richness of the German language.

For bringing back old and new MALE FRIENDS into my life and teaching us to relate on higher levels of awareness, authenticity, vulnerability, compassion and love. I appreciate and welcome the replacement of friendships lost in years back and the upping of masculine energy in my circles. Acknowledging the fulfillment of longheld wish.

For ending on a gift and high note, which give me a knowing and positive outlook on 2022’s oncoming magic and gifts.

Photography: Chelsea Jackson Roberts by Francesco Mastalia

The post Thank You 2021 appeared first on Venuskind.

Dream school in my definition is set apart from usual dreams, which are made up of the feedback and information shared by the subconscious and its capacity to read energy and other subtle cues for survival or wellbeing in a human definition. Such dreams have been valuable guides and helpers in navigating the complexities of life within the laws and layers of Maya.

Yet the teachings of dream school are not meant to help me succeed and be happy in human definitions or the narrative layers of Maya I am currently engaging with. Dream school has an evolutionary and awakening purpose, it doesn’t care much for the dualistic narrative streams of Maya as it lies close to the Reality of Self.

Set beyond Maya and higher dimensional realms of consciousness it is an in-between space, allowing the confluence of an abundance of multidimensional consciousness layers to serve in customizing and expanding the curriculum for the dream student.

This is where I have been called to learn to see from higher consciousness the ancestral and soular patterns of karma weaving their stories in my experience.
Here I learn to utilize, calibrate and attune meta-senses, I get a respite from the heaviness of the human experience and am surrounded with higher frequencies. Frequencies hailing from star kin and home, which replenish me whenever ‘humaning’ leaves me depleted and remind me of my choice and purpose in incarnating in this time, ancestral lineage, soul tribe, and narrative complexes.
Here I am taught to utilize codes and energies to heal and liberate my human consciousness from the fetters of the collective daze, ancestral limitations, and to rework the body to release whatever stands in the way of fulfilling my soul purpose and create more space for higher frequencies of Self.

Lately dream school has been back in session with verve and I am given ‘feeling tones‘ of frequencies of being, relating and co-creation to hold (embody) and be on the lookout for in choosing companions and fellow travelers, who will be supportive and expansive to my path. I am being shown the necessity to put my focus and discipline into keeping my boundaries healthy and strong as intensities on Earth will keep rising for several more years and I have to walk my path undeterred by it to fulfill my part in this evolutionary phase of human consciousness.
My personal priorities can no longer swerve back to the hunt for human definitions of happiness (partnership, success, money, etc.), no matter how subtle my ego may attempt to do so. My singular priority in this incarnation is to fulfill and be true my Soul’s path with integrity, knowing and expanding consciousness.
Everything else needs to be in service to, fully align with it or released.

This is the nature of the path I chose before incarnation and I choose now, as a whole being, from my current level of consciousness.

My way of waking from dream school keeps taking many new rhythms and forms. Yet there are certain aspects that seem constant: feeling myself being gently pulled from the dream lesson, the link between higher and lower mind being strong the higher mind begins sharing the insights of the lesson in words and terms the lower mind can grasp or unpack, then they unitedly start reflecting, unpacking, associating, feeling into, anchoring this new knowing into the body… All that happens in the period I slowly move from dream consciousness to waking consciousness, and sometimes lingers on when I make time and space for it.
Afterwards, as I stretch and open my eyes I tap into my intuition to sense how this knowing wants to be carried into my day: through a sitting meditation, through sounding it to my subtle body, through writing meditation, or does it want to ferment and grow more before put into action or words.
And that is how that day will begin and unfold…

There is a sacredness yet lightness, playfulness and lots of humor to the teachings of dream school. I feel grateful to be enrolled in its mastery classes, even if my human sometimes struggles to release the conditionings, woundings, and to embrace the teachings and guidances and graces bestowed upon me.

Photography: Buddha offering, Lantau Island/Hong Kong by Michael Kenna

The post Dream School appeared first on Venuskind.

This is how I deepened my love relationship with my body, feeling more attuned, healthy, stronger, energized, balanced and peaceful.

This year Spirit has stopped me in my tracks and made me contemplate where my preference for diversity and desire to connect with a variety of people, energies, mindsets and lifestyles was serving my wellbeing and where it was detrimental to it. In the process I had to release some unconsciously held beliefs and fears, change what I expose my mind and being to, become more discerning and reflective of the energies I experience and the feedback my body gives me about them. I had to discard another layer of good girl programming that used to override my own needs in service of useless ideas or principles. Within the same lesson Spirit guided me to choose the reality, timeline, story I want to live in and release my attachment to being connected to all other realities, timelines and narratives in unhealthy and ego-driven ways.

This is how Spirit healed my mind and spirit and revitalized my being.

This year I am wrapping up a long karmic cycle of unbalanced, unfulfilling, unloving and disheartening relating and relationships. I was lead into extensive self-observations, deep introspections, reflections and knowing of what in me attracts, co-creates, enables, nurtures and holds on to these painful experiences. Another layer of how the ego abuses and tortures me was revealed to me with the gracious help of an external catalyst who artfully combined all the tones of my ‘core woundings’ to trigger the unraveling of what still remained hidden to my awareness.

Parallel to it I have been exploring new dimensions of relating and communing with my innermost circles of friends and family, tasting new states of oneness in diversity, joyful embracements of similarities and differences alike, new frequencies and tones of blissful co-being. My heart is opening to more love and experiencing a delicious multitude of subtleties and nuances to love, friendship, affection, tenderness, support, nurturing and care. I have been learning to show up in my relationships with more vulnerability, playfulness, discernment and self love than I would have been capable of or even dreamt it possible just a year or two ago. I am being met in kind, with effortless reciprocity, appreciation, compassion, joy, playfulness and love that exceeds my most daring dreams. And yet I know it to be just a beginning…

This is how my heart and emotional body have been purified from the dark tendrils of karma, ancestral patterns and trauma and infused with luminous rainbow colored threads of love’s potentiality and soothing.

It has been a year of refocusing on my dreams, of manifesting my heart’s desire for a life filled with a multitude of loves, for a community of like-hearted dreamers, magicians, alchemists and creators, for creating spaces of potentiality, transformation, the magic of being and the effervescence of life. A year that allowed me to witness these dreams begin to take form in the physical dimension and nurture their unfolding with eyes of awe, glittering with the light of age old galaxies. This year has shown me the change of the tides-the time for my visions to take form has finally come. It has been a year of answered prayers of old, a year of my consciousness visioning in the realm of the unknown, touching the impossible wanting to be manifest through me and us.

This is how my trust has been nourished and expanded, this is how my dreams have been resurrected into a higher vibrancy, free, fluid, playfully and creatively shapeshifting with the flow of conscious harmonic resonance.

I release what cannot be part of my becoming and unfolding with heartfelt gratitude and blessings and welcome whatever awaits to teach me, enrich my life and expand my consciousness and love with open arms and heart.

And I bow in gratitude to Source, life, 2020, catalysts, teachers, students, friends, beloveds, family and Self for a subtly yet profoundly transformational year. 

Art by Marcel van Luit

The post 2020 Hindsight appeared first on Venuskind.

Every episode allowed me, as the lucid dreamer, to observe the dream self interact with people from previous chapters in my life and people I haven’t met in this life. Every night seems to come with a parade of people that are revisited and released and others that leave me mesmerized, curious and wishing for more. As I rarely dream about real life people unless the dreams are important messages about the relationship or current life experience these dreams had my full attention.

Things that stood out to me across all these dream-episodes of the past weeks:

The dream self clearly felt affection and care for the person while being detached from any happenings and outcomes while engaging from equanimity.
This aspect seems to allow my being to practice and anchor new relational habits and memories for relating from equanimity (read as emotionally non-entangled and non-needy state).

The dream self realizes in the interactions why these people are no longer in my life.
Seeing clearly the misalignments, the incapability to expand perspectives, the lack of investment in the connection, the limitations to growth and change put upon the selves, difference in paths chosen and purposes lived… which gives my being closure and allows for peace with their absence and/or my moving on.

My lucid dreamer self senses clearly a limitation, superficiality and lack of meaningful substance in these interactions and connections.
Which has inspired deeper inquiry into and reflections on the “divine dissatisfaction” (I forget who coined this wonderful term) this caused me to feel. Wanting to verbalize and be clear what it is that makes some relating and relationships deeply valuable to me while it renders others inconsequential or unsatisfying.

Some of the unknown people afford my dream self very different experiences as they are open to explorations, bring new colors, textures, vibrations and possibilities to relating and interacting.
The sensations, feelings and dimensions of meeting another experienced in these episodes are still impossible to verbalize as they were emotional, sensate and even spiritual in form. What I can say is that they left me feeling enchanted, lighter, felt like they were woven of threads of awe, bliss, joy and love I have yet to experience in real life. They had a feeling of being far beyond.. beyond all that I have experienced in their beauty, meaning, qualities and gifts of learning.

I am deeply grateful that the majority of the processing and releasing I am currently experiencing is happening in the dreamtime. I sense a lightening, a surfacing from the depth of my souls karmic entanglements and debts. I feel a lightness and clarity which I had missed while deep diving through this year’s calls for growth.

And I feel excited to explore more of the new that has made itself known in the dreamtime, sensing it to be a premonition of things to come in third dimensional reality.

Art by Aeppol

The post Dreamtime appeared first on Venuskind.

“Own your shadow and you will own your life.”                    ~ Aletheia Luna

A couple of weeks back I asked my aspects (higher self) and Source to allow the majority of insights and processing of the integration of my shadow to be done in the dream lab. Not as a cheeky egoic way of avoiding the work, which I am more than glad to do. Whatever leads to freedom and peace is worth its efforts and pain to me. No my thoughts where that in the dream lab my subconscious, conscious and higher mind are all present and actively engaging each other and therefore that would be the most potent arena for change.

The first nights came with a deluge of imagery and intense feelings of frustration which led to my lucid dreamer waking or changing the dream repeatedly which didn’t get me anywhere with the inner work I am focused on. But then I was intuitively guided to get my black obsidian crystals and place them under my pillow… and everything shifted. My obsidian guided dreams have been a joy, especially now with the current full moon energy.

Every night I have at least 2 different subjects that are being reflected and integrated. Dreams putting me in scenarios that trigger shadow responses and allow me to experiment with the most aligned way of perceiving, framing and responding to them until it feels right. Showing me where my reactivity blinded me to much more peaceful and easy responses and leading to lots of laughter and gratitude upon waking as the train of insights and knowing keeps anchoring itself in my conscious awareness.

For many days in a row my first words uttered loudly have been “Thank you!” with a smile or giggle as things which would have taken weeks and months to work out are illuminated, resolved and released with one small but powerful dream. With every night and lessons learned I feel a little bit lighter and more content in my being. I am so glad I chose to explore the magical capacities of my being by following my intuition. And pleased that I can do it on my own and what is more with much entertainment, humor and ease. Who would have known that shadow work could take this form once the pain, shame and guilt have been acknowledged? 

It is yet another amazing gift of this year to be able to do a part of my self work in my dreams!

Dreams are a safe, magical and playful space for learning and communication between different parts of my Self even across timelines and dimensions. What a blessing to be able to tap into these vast resources for knowing, healing, integration and pure joy!

I welcome the blessings and gifts of my path with gratitude.

Photography “Inbetween” of Dreamworld series by Lotta van Droom

The post Obsidian Dreams appeared first on Venuskind.

“She was used to it… 
having invisible footprints 
in other people’s lives… 
“leave nothing take nothing” 
as if her lovers and friends 
were national parks, protected, 
preserved for some future 
in which she had no part. 


And truth was, it was easy 
to tread lightly, to give of herself 
and take nothing in return… 
to love and be loved 
behind masks and curtains… 
safe behind demilitarized zones. 
Few people seemed to perceive 
how much of her was untouchable. 


But still, she dreamed of more… 
she dreamed of setting a flag 
in some forbidden city of a heart. 
She dreamed of complications, 
of flesh puzzles, of trying to fit 
two lives, three lives… more lives 
into the same day of hours as hers. 
She dreamed of leaving footprints.”

~ Peregrine

Photography: Finland by Julius Kähkönen

The post Footprints appeared first on Venuskind.