New self, new Year

My newly reborn self is very different to the previous iteration I have been living from in the past decade. Born from the former iterations long journey of healing trauma, integrating inner selves, finding the oneness of all dualities, balancing masculine and feminine energies and ventures into the void, she is a more fiery warrior, playful being, easy lover, intuitive networker, mystical dancer, and sovereign being.

The first thing she pushed for is taking action to tie up any and all loose ends of the past and close out past cycles fully and start with a clean slate.Then she clearly and unmistakably laid down new boundaries and brought all other selves in line with a new vision of selfhood and life.

These are some of the intentions and trajectories my self-leadership set for this new cycle: 

I am closing the door on my past and certain people of said past. This is a line in the energetic sand, a barrier to all who played a painful part in teaching me about lies, betrayal, disloyalty, manipulation, abandonment. Though they are wholeheartedly forgiven there will be no new chances, no reconciliation, no return to my life in this incarnation-even if they have changed or experienced enlightenment. This is my gift and promise to the wounded little girl, in honor of the pain and devastation she suffered and we transcended to become whole and choose better. 

I am closing the door on my ego’s antics and no longer willing to allow parts of myself that wreak havoc and invite pain to have more than a ‘consulting’ part in my life and choices. I no longer accept the drama and distortions my ego keeps instigating to disrupt inner peace and darken experiences. My energy will be channeled towards focusing on all that enhances, supports and expands my experience in wholesome and evolutionary ways without the taint of self-harming dynamics.

I am holding myself to moving away from anyone or anything that disrupts my peace or tries to bind me to unconscious patterns, regardless if they are within or without. I give myself permission to terminate without further explanation any connection that persistently shows up in an immature and disharmonious vibration. 

I am holding myself to practicing intuitive discernment in my encounters, exchanges and sharing with others. Tempering energies as best I can, transmuting what needs transmuting, amplifying the light or darkness whenever such medicine is needed, and walking away in honoring of the guidance I receive.

I am holding myself to keep nourishing my soul by seeking and co-creating play, sweetness, lightness and joy which fill my being with bliss.

I am holding myself to keep my attention, focus and energy on what needs love, compassion, caring, building, creating, nurturing, and witnessing. 

I am holding myself to embodying the fullest version of Self I possibly can. Being gentle with my failings yet disciplined and persistent in my efforts to BE better. 

I am holding myself to showing up with kindness, compassion and love and to never stay the sword of truth and wisdom whenever a moment calls for it. 

And so the new self expresses in a new soul song and begins her dance with the new year and energies…

Photography: Dora Maar by Man Ray, 1936
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