I was raised in adverse circumstances that favored and rewarded strength and harshness and mercilessly exploited tenderness and sensitivity to torture and deride the little girl I once was. To survive I emulated these attitudes consciously and subconsciously in parts of my internal tribe. Inadvertently and sadly taking up the role of abuser towards myself and others in its wake. Rarely allowing myself to feel or own moments of...
I want to share a bit of my healing story as an acknowledgement of the cycle I have been experiencing and as a seed of contemplation, feeling or sensed transformation for you. In the past 5 years I have shared a little on the disruptions, betrayals and ending of friendships that were very dear and precious to me. Yet I did so only haltingly and while keeping the depth...
There are many facets and sides to me. Sides most of you never encountered, regardless if they are light or dark. It has been a long journey of coming to terms with the broadness of the spectrum of emotions, behaviors and thoughts I am capable of holding and embodying. A long journey to embrace the parts that triggered my fears and deeply embedded and repressed feelings of shame. There...
It is hard for me to find adequate words for the experience I find myself immersed in. I am in awe and floating in an ocean of gratitude for the tender loving care I am experiencing at the hands of my Self as she heeded my call for support in healing and transmuting the distortions I hold in my field. Another way of describing said distortions would be trauma,...
In 1990, Maureen Murdock wrote The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness as a response to Joseph Campbell’s model. Murdock, a student of Campbell’s work, felt his model failed to address the specific psycho-spiritual journey of contemporary women. She developed a model describing the cyclical nature of the female experience. Campbell’s response to her model was, “Women don’t need to make the journey. In the whole mythological tradition the...
“Own your shadow and you will own your life.” ~ Aletheia Luna A couple of weeks back I asked my aspects (higher self) and Source to allow the majority of insights and processing of the integration of my shadow to be done in the dream lab. Not as a cheeky egoic way of avoiding the work, which I am more...
I will end this lecture by telling you that the fear is not real. It is truly an illusion, but you must go through it by feeling it. Through the gateway of feeling your weakness lies your strength; through the gateway of feeling your pain lies your pleasure and joy; through the gateway of feeling your fear lies your security and safety; through the gateway of feeling your loneliness...
It is important to look at the identifications and labels we use for ourselves. There is a need to delve deeper and make conscious which part of us and why it chose them and which beliefs, judgements and fears attach us to them. There is a need to look at their diametral opposite and see where and why it, or the traits associated with it, may lie repressed and...
“Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior.” ~ Carl Jung I have spent large parts of the past years witnessing my shadow aspects as closely as I could while living my mundane life. You could say my awareness was permanently split in external and internal awareness for the duration of their arising and raging. Which was often. There is an eerie duality of drives when facing the...
When I talk or write about shadow work I mean the practice and work of making the shadow conscious, confronting and getting to know what we unconsciously keep hidden from ourselves. “The shadow goes by many familiar names: the disowned self, the lower self, the dark twin or brother in bible and myth, the double, repressed self, alter ego, id. When we come face-to-face with our darker side, we...
