Love You More

here in this beautiful now i am standing alone at the precipice of a new life. a life you might become a part of or a life in which you might turn into a transient memory slowly fading away as the years roll by. only time can tell what it will be and so i widen my heart to love you more fully because now is all we have for sure and because you are the one i hope life chose to be mine…

yet every time my love for you deepens i have to make myself let go more – let go of my attachment to wanting to be with you, let go of my imagining a common future and let go of my minds obsession with thoughts of you. 

never have i felt the impermanence of life and my vulnerability more than in my love for you. there are uncried tears in my eyes when i smile at you, a melancholy coloring my joy and laughter as the writings on the wall tell me to open my hands and let you go… then my hands slowly let go as i do not want to lose you!

“To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go.“ 
~ Lao Tzu

I wrote these words 4 years ago. Reminding me of relationship and love  transformational and elegant in its uniqueness. A man I still adore and love deeply even if our paths parted and we are no longer connected on a human level.

I had the honor of learning to open my heart in the face of fears, uncertainty, to allow for my vulnerability and let it all in, surrendering fully to the impermanence of our human experiences while embracing the eternity of love with an exceptional being.

I had let you go as you did me and yet I love and hold you more deeply today than I was capable of then my beloved K..

With gratitude, love and blessings for all you have been, are and will be!

Photography: Unknown

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