Autumn was not much of a favored or loved season of mine for most of my life.
Maybe because it never takes the brilliant and colorful form of the “Indian summer” where I grew up but is a rainy and uncomfortable prelude to the desolation of winter. Maybe because my ancestral lands never see a leafless tree unless it is dead and this image is deeply associated with death in my bones?
Intellectually I got why others perceive and embrace this season in a different way ever since I was a kid but emotionally it remained alien to me.
A few years ago something shifted in me and I could sense past the death of summer, the rains and carcasses of trees into the deeper alignment we have with these cycles internally. Now I welcome fall as a beloved friend modeling and reminding me gracefully of the most profound experience our human existence holds for us.
When I am asked to let go of something that has grown dear to me, may it be a thought pattern, behavioral habit, place or person I have learned to emulate my tree teachers in lightening up the beauty shared and the gifts received in blazing colors of joy and aliveness before I leave them behind or let them go.
In doing so I have been initiated into one of the secrets of Life and its cycles. I have been granted a taste of the sweetness hidden behind sadness of letting go and witnessed sadness make way for a luminous awe for life, gratitude and a deeper trust.
Gained insight and trust that every autumn serves my rebirth when I let go of what no longer serves my soul, realign, rest, reflect and revise to create my next cycle from a higher template. Having gone through enough cycles of death and rebirth I have a knowing that spring will inevitably come at the perfect time and not only wash away heaviness accumulated in the stillness of winter but enliven me with its brilliance, beauty and overflow of creative energy.
Autumn has a magical meaning and feel to it for me now, which goes far beyond the holidays or creature comforts it is often associated with. The kind of magic and sacredness which life reveals to us when we unlearn our misperceptions, surrender to this journey and open ourselves to the depth of Soul’s wisdom and Spirit’s dance.
And just like that I am no longer bothered by the bleakness of dark grey skies, rains or cold anymore but lead home to my inner sun and process of looking back in gratitude and resting in a peaceful now as the seeds of another summer form and germinate in my heart and soul.