If I cannot speak the true name of something, consistently, it retains its power over me and I will not grant such power to anything or anyone.

Calling things by their true name has a deeply transformative effect that can be felt viscerally as well as subtly. It rips the veils of gaslighting, manipulation and mind control by disrupting their false narratives and distortions of reality. Allowing for integration and healing of the past by reclaiming our sovereignty and standing in the power of our truth.
Words have power. We need to use them wisely, not as weapons to hurt another, as we were taught, but as tools of dismantling illusions, lies, oppressions and injustices within as much as without.

Therefore I will keep calling the “religious group” I grew up in a CULT as that is what it is, I will speak about my childhood’s spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and sexual ABUSE and TRAUMA as many have and are currently experiencing the same and worse, I will speak about having been a REFUGEE fleeing WAR and being an IMMIGRANT for visibility and hope in support of those experiencing it today, I will speak about RACISM, WHITE SUPREMACY, MISOGYNY and MISANDRY and other TOXIC CONDITIONINGS we all share as much as I will speak of all the gifts and treasures I received along with and through these experiences.

I don’t do this to garner pity or attention for my “poor self” but to disrupt that pattern by a) normalizing truthful speech sans bypassing or sugar coating of the shadow aspects for myself and those who welcome it, b) by embodying that what happened in my life doesn’t define or limit me, and c) to end the silence and/or to shift the way we perceive and speak about shadow and dark aspects.
When I center the shadow aspects or what might be perceived as negative or triggering name for an experience or period of my life, it is not done in a spirit of forgetting about or dismissing the good that came with it by holding to a negative frame of my experiences. It is done in service of making the unseen visible by illuminating the dark and its potential gifts. I have not forgotten the good nor do I lack in gratitude for it.

There will be no enabling, support or celebration of avoidance or pity parties to be had with me. There will be inquiry, curiosity, openness, empathy, compassion, laughter and tears as we candidly reflect your experiences and mine.
There will be no trigger warnings here. I trust you to manage information according to your needs and resources.

The light of awareness, truth, love and consciousness are alchemical agents of transformation. When we speak truth to lies, illuminate the dark, and cut the chords of identification and attachments our words can speak magnificient new realities into being. This is the path I choose to walk and you are welcome to walk by my side.

Photography & Digital Art: Unknown

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If we are aligned with truth and knowing we will have no need to denigrate those who lack it or make light of them. If we side with truth in the deeper and eternal sense, truth itself will root us in love and compassion for all that is.

Dig deeper, research more, do not be easily satisfied with your first findings, do not disregard the things your mind tells you cannot be… practice open-mindedness. This reality is highly complex to the mind and makes “inception” look like a toddlers concept. Hold contrasting thoughts and ideas in your mind, consult your intuition, learn to use your heart as the processor of knowledge, live from a beginners mind and learn to bear not-knowing. Sit with not-knowing and seeming contradictions, allow time, new insights and deeper reflections to bring insights, new perspectives, integration and resolution to the contrasts in your mind.  

We live in a global matrix of mind control and distortions of history, language, cultures, morals, politics and religions that goes back centuries and millennia.

Awakening in this multi-layered system of lies, deceptions and half-truths can be deeply disorienting and confusing, yet do not give in to your minds need for simple and comfortable answers as you will not find true solace in avoidance or illusions. This reality is unbearably beautiful and painfully dysfunctional at once, you need to face the darkness and let go of the convoluted nonsense you have been force fed to find truth and beauty in this world. The truth shall make you free.. after it pisses you off and makes you want to run the other way.. but you will quickly understand that you cannot afford to and that is where your journey begins.

In time your mind will expand with higher knowledge and knowing to see the connection and oneness of things which seem like contradictions and you will learn to discern the difference between absolute truths and relative truths. And you will look back with compassion and kindness on your moments of confusion and blindness. 

There will be those you meet along your journey, seekers and lovers of truth who will become a lifeline in a world of sleepers. Embracing and living your authentic self will attract them to you, they will become your family, friends and cheerleaders while you will lose some of those you thought of as such before your ventured on this journey… and yet you will see, feel and know deep in your bones that what you gain is more precious than anything you lose.

Do not give up, keep asking yourself uncomfortable questions, keep expanding your knowledge, practicing mindfulness, sitting in silence, embracing your shadow, loving yourself, practicing love, kindness and compassion… and surrendering to the truth within. And you will find that you have all you need within you.

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“The strong and persistent searcher will penetrate veil after veil, until at the innermost centre he discovers the germ of truth, which, awakened to consciousness, will grow into a sun that illuminates the whole of the interior world, wherein everything is contained.” ~ Franz Hartmann

Art: Celebration by Anne von Freyburg

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