There are many layers and subtleties to its gifts of insight into my unhelpful beliefs, forgotten pain, behavioral and thought patterns, and my sweet little girl‘s longings that remained unfulfilled. Illuminating attachments in need of attention, transformation, or release. Alerting me to contractions, stuck energy, and tensions alive in my body. 

Inviting me to become intimate with the complex ways I create experiences which are unfulfilling and fall short of meeting my needs and wants, to gently coax out the parts who due to invisibility and neediness sabotage my ability to perceive all of the layers of an experience, to be still and listen to their pleas and complaints. Inviting me to observe the gentle and playful reparenting my inner father and mother bring to these voices and my little girl. Inciting and honing my creativity in finding means of fulfilling my needs internally with more skill and playfulness. 

An invitation to lean into a bigger YES to life, to gently melt tensions, apprehensions, and resistance, and reminder that ‘resistance is futile’ and unloving when the Universe is teaching me lessons in receptivity to its abundance and unconditional love. 

Becoming stronger and clearer thanks to disappointment, the light bringer and liberator.

Art: ‘I Have Finally Arrived’ by José Cacho

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My heart whispered:

“If someone, whom your conditioning, culture, religion or society has labeled as “less than,” enters your experience pause and expand into full presence. Know viscerally that the differences your mind seems to perceive are mere illusions in the greater context of existence, know the lies and hidden self-aggrandizements embedded in the labels you learned, know the violence of denigration in the labels and narratives handed down to you, perceive and know the being-ness of the other and you shall know awe. 

Observe thoughts or narratives of charity or pity, see their dark and disempowering nature, release them from your mental body and replace them with knowing of sovereignty, compassion and service from the oneness of Self and Source. 

Can you see their presence opening countless doorways of wisdom to hearts and minds willing to be receptive to the wisdom on offer?

Can you see the magnificence of the soul that chose to explore an incarnation that was sure to be met with many obstacles, exclusion, resistance and pain? 

Can you see them being another you?

Can you be at the zero point, anchored in wholeness and oneness, being alert, open, receptive, giving and ready to co-create?

Now that you dropped the baggage of the old paradigm, you are ready for them to teach you a whole lot of new dance moves, you have never known to exist nor been capable of executing in your former mind state.”

Every time I look at this picture I feel a humbling gratitude for the intricate magnificence of life and the consciousness and love embedded in all our experiences. Both patiently waiting for our senses and awareness to awaken to them and delight in their abundant gifts and revel in joy. 

What could be more delightful and majestic than the play of rays of consciousness in innumerable forms, states and embodiments? 

Photography by Unknown

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I still cannot quite wrap my head around the fact that we can think we are honest with ourselves and then Life holds up the most unlikely of mirrors up to us and lets us see aspects of ourselves and hear voices within we keep ourselves blinded to. We are truly complex and confounding creatures. What a humbling gift it is to be taught a fuller acceptance of ourselves as Life meets us with unwavering unconditional acceptance and love!

The ongoing focus in my self work has been on shifting my response to things which trigger my traumas or strongly emotionally charged beliefs. I have already come a long way but there are still these moments of defeat when my reactivities take over and I find myself locked into their play. This year I have been given new tools and the most challenging of contrasting teachers to understand and change my approach so I might be more effective in calming my mind body system when triggered and in totally dismantling the triggers one by one or in groups.

It always took a while to get to the root of a trigger or belief and a lot of energy and dedication to soften my reactivity bit by bit. But now I have received the tools to change it in one go, to create equanimity where once was the seed of fear, rage or feelings of unsafety and pain. 

What a gift it is when you find the right key and tools for a current layer of distortion you are focused on releasing and to see them work first once, then twice and then over and over again. 

To see shackles that held you for decades imprisoned fall off your being and breathe into this new freedom is the grace afforded me by this mystical and divine Life… I cannot help wishing with the same breath that the same grace may be given to all beings in all dimensions and timelines. 

May we all find our freedom and peace in the love and light of our true nature and oneness!

How blessed I am, how blessed we are…

Bowing in gratitude to the mystery and generosity of Life!

Photography: At the End by Adrienne McNellis

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I love this little girl with all my being and will gladly let go of anyone who hurts her and doesn’t hear her. She will always be my priority and beloved, all other relationships in my life will be secondary to her.

As we have come a long way I had to apologize for failing her more than I like, yet I am getting better at understanding her needs, honoring her boundaries, moving at her pace while teaching her about my adult perceptions and insights about the world and reframing beliefs and experiences to reveal their exciting possibilities and gifts.

We live in gratitude, magic, miracles and endless blessings and treasures of life as intuition and spirit guide us.
We love easily, generously and freely and live in the belief that everything is possible in life. We have learned to intuit the level of flow, inner peace and ease we need to cultivate and nourish in order to be open to the bounty of life.
We are getting better at discerning who comes to us as a catalyst or teacher for a short while and who is meant to stay by our side..
We have amazing and inspiring people in our lives, whose inner children have become beloved play mates and co-creators of fabulous experiences and much admired fellow journeyers in this life.
We keep meeting wonderful and expansive new people, always open to include more into our tribe as we are open to let them go when our time has come to an end.

How blessed we are to have this loving and caring relationship after all the pain, separation and unlove we experienced… I am feeling very proud of my little girl and my primary relationship.

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Photo by Jan C. Schlegel – Alitash (9), Hamer tribe, Ethiopia

In the Hamar language, Alitash’s name means: “I never want to loose you, whenever I look for you may I find you again always. You are a precious treasure.”

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