It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit. ~ Eartha Kitt

Anyone who tried being in a relationship with someone who was lacking in self love knows how hard it is to constantly validate and affirm where they themselves keep belittling and denigrating themselves. And eventually the moment comes where you wonder why you keep pouring your precious love, energy and attention into this bottomless black hole of self loathing. Some day you realize that loving someone who cannot love them self is quite costly as it comes with bouts of their self loathing turning in resentment towards you after imagined or misconstrued slights.

Some are happy to stay in such relationships and I cannot help but feel an eerie admiration for their endurance and willingness to suffer.

What I choose are relationships of conscious, sovereign, self loving beings who can meet each other in reciprocal love, respect, trust, playfulness, creativity, intelligence, compassion and joy. 

A union of equals.

How blessed I am to know and keep meeting such beautiful and exquisite beings.

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We don’t need the sugar fix of other people’s validation. Beautiful everlasting sustenance lies in self-love. It’s the Holy Grail.

I’m all for beauty products and lame selfies and overpriced lingerie, but only if it’s complimenting the flamboyance of your soul, not feeding it.

It is self-loving verve that makes someone timelessly beautiful. It embalms you in allure…forever. Do what you love, be who you are – you’re amazing.”
~ S. Chapman

The absence of self love has many destructive fruits, holding on to distorted perceptions and judgements about ourselves ends up hurting us and others on a daily basis.

In the absence of self love any care and love we attempt to give others will be undermined by the dark fruits of self loathing and turned into an ugly seed of suffering. We might blind our minds to the truth of this but our hearts will always be aware of our abusive ways, no matter how subtle or complex they manifest.

The single most liberating and healing practice we can commit to is the development and cultivation of self care and self love. Contrary to what many think loving yourself is not selfish or narcissistic but a fundamental necessity of having healthy relationships with others.

Right relating happens when we stop serving our egoic woundings and start giving freely from the fullness of our cup.

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