There are many layers and subtleties to its gifts of insight into my unhelpful beliefs, forgotten pain, behavioral and thought patterns, and my sweet little girl‘s longings that remained unfulfilled. Illuminating attachments in need of attention, transformation, or release. Alerting me to contractions, stuck energy, and tensions alive in my body. 

Inviting me to become intimate with the complex ways I create experiences which are unfulfilling and fall short of meeting my needs and wants, to gently coax out the parts who due to invisibility and neediness sabotage my ability to perceive all of the layers of an experience, to be still and listen to their pleas and complaints. Inviting me to observe the gentle and playful reparenting my inner father and mother bring to these voices and my little girl. Inciting and honing my creativity in finding means of fulfilling my needs internally with more skill and playfulness. 

An invitation to lean into a bigger YES to life, to gently melt tensions, apprehensions, and resistance, and reminder that ‘resistance is futile’ and unloving when the Universe is teaching me lessons in receptivity to its abundance and unconditional love. 

Becoming stronger and clearer thanks to disappointment, the light bringer and liberator.

Art: ‘I Have Finally Arrived’ by José Cacho

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Attachment to the inner attracted the outer.

Preference for emotional and spiritual intimacy attracted mere mental and physical intimacy. 

Preference and attachment to anything creates the experience of the contrast and thereby cultivates suffering. Such is the price of choosing to play in duality and separation consciousness.

Stepping back, releasing attachments and preferences, moving into equanimity and freedom from cycles of self-perpetuated and co-created suffering. I no longer am available for these games born of unconsciousness and conditioning.

And who would have known? Releasing attachments and preferences creates spaciousness and a vast vista of possibilities, which let what once was desired fade into obscurity. Conscious reality is a force of merciless destruction and indomitable truth and beauty.

I bow in gratitude to all the teachers and catalysts who helped me learn these lessons, blessing you and your gifts, no matter if they came dressed as joyful or devastating visitations.

I am complete yet remain forever unfinished.

Photography by Lopamudra Talukdar

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