What is transparency in relationships?

Transparency means to be open, honest and truthful.In the context of relationships, it is vital to the evolution of the partnership. It shows trust in our partners and our ability to be vulnerable and let someone in to what we are experiencing. Without transparency, there is no sharing and it shuts down growth.

Lack of transparency or openness can cause issues in relationships. Deflection can occur which gets us nowhere and keeps us trapped in a never ending cycle. Keeping someone in the dark and treating them like they have no right to care or to information breaks down communication and leads to the erosion of the partnership.

Why is transparency in relationships so important?

Transparency is important as it sets the depths in which the partnership is able to penetrate. If there is constant deflection, avoidance, excuses, or games there is no way to move deeper. Trust is broken. Communication becomes impossible. The party that is being deflected stops trying. Intimacy is shut down. It closes doors and builds walls. The relationship is effectively frozen.

Relationships are never easy, but they are built for two. If you’re constantly having to beg for someone to let you in, it’s time to walk away. Yes, sometimes we have to spend time alone to figure things out or deal with things. It’s important to have space in relationships in order to figure that out. But if someone is always leaving you in the dark or deflecting when you try to reach out, you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship that really nourishes you. Open, honest communication is vital for the continuation and expansion of relationships. Without this cornerstone, the pillars crumble. The more we open, the deeper we are able to go.

The truth is some people are happy in the shallow end of the relationship stream.

They don’t want to travel the intricate levels of the spirit. They don’t want to open up or have a soul deep connection. And no matter how hard you try to pry them open, you can’t. The important thing in these situations is to acknowledge your own need for greater depth and move on to something that provides that. You deserve someone who is open and willing to let you in. Life is too short to spend begging for someone to open up to you.

~ Ara Campbell

Photography: ‘White Gauze’ by Robert Mapplethorpe

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If I cannot speak the true name of something, consistently, it retains its power over me and I will not grant such power to anything or anyone.

Calling things by their true name has a deeply transformative effect that can be felt viscerally as well as subtly. It rips the veils of gaslighting, manipulation and mind control by disrupting their false narratives and distortions of reality. Allowing for integration and healing of the past by reclaiming our sovereignty and standing in the power of our truth.
Words have power. We need to use them wisely, not as weapons to hurt another, as we were taught, but as tools of dismantling illusions, lies, oppressions and injustices within as much as without.

Therefore I will keep calling the “religious group” I grew up in a CULT as that is what it is, I will speak about my childhood’s spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and sexual ABUSE and TRAUMA as many have and are currently experiencing the same and worse, I will speak about having been a REFUGEE fleeing WAR and being an IMMIGRANT for visibility and hope in support of those experiencing it today, I will speak about RACISM, WHITE SUPREMACY, MISOGYNY and MISANDRY and other TOXIC CONDITIONINGS we all share as much as I will speak of all the gifts and treasures I received along with and through these experiences.

I don’t do this to garner pity or attention for my “poor self” but to disrupt that pattern by a) normalizing truthful speech sans bypassing or sugar coating of the shadow aspects for myself and those who welcome it, b) by embodying that what happened in my life doesn’t define or limit me, and c) to end the silence and/or to shift the way we perceive and speak about shadow and dark aspects.
When I center the shadow aspects or what might be perceived as negative or triggering name for an experience or period of my life, it is not done in a spirit of forgetting about or dismissing the good that came with it by holding to a negative frame of my experiences. It is done in service of making the unseen visible by illuminating the dark and its potential gifts. I have not forgotten the good nor do I lack in gratitude for it.

There will be no enabling, support or celebration of avoidance or pity parties to be had with me. There will be inquiry, curiosity, openness, empathy, compassion, laughter and tears as we candidly reflect your experiences and mine.
There will be no trigger warnings here. I trust you to manage information according to your needs and resources.

The light of awareness, truth, love and consciousness are alchemical agents of transformation. When we speak truth to lies, illuminate the dark, and cut the chords of identification and attachments our words can speak magnificient new realities into being. This is the path I choose to walk and you are welcome to walk by my side.

Photography & Digital Art: Unknown

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