My system now embraces that we have needs, and that some of them are better or only met with others. This no longer discomforts me or strikes fear into my heart, thankfully it has become something beautiful to be experienced, shared, received and celebrated in relating with beloveds and strangers alike. 

What still goes against the grain of some of my parts is neediness – the grasping, stickiness of its energetics and the undercurrent of self degradation that I sense in it. My avoidant protectors feel an instant ickiness at the proximity of such an energy, even more so when the grasping is directed towards my energy or being.

Thankfully I have clarity on what sets these parts off about neediness and how it is distinct from having needs:

First of all having needs does not make a person needy! 

There are many who, conditioned towards hyper-independence, cannot differentiate between having needs and being needy. And unfortunately suppress or deny their needs and don’t allow themselves to ask for support. Though I do not share that perspective and experience anymore I sure know it intimately and viscerally.

There is no weakness or lack in having a need or perceiving another as having needs, it is merely one facet of human expression in the moment. 

Needs are temporary, consistent or recurrent phenomena we all have to dance with in being embodied. They may shift and change, we may go through periods of being in need of more or less support – none of which defines our value or worthiness. The latter are innate and untouched by life experiences to my mystic’s consciousness. 

Neediness, in my current understanding, is a descriptor for an unskillful way someone expresses and attempts to get their needs met. While having a need is about a sensed, felt, experienced reality – it simply is and therefore is neither good nor bad.

We can express and bid for getting our needs met without ever coming close to being/vibrating neediness, in fact verbalizing of needs and requests for support can be incredibly empowered, admirable and magnetic no matter how vulnerable and tender it might feel to us. 

I welcome open communication of needs, wants and desires as it invites me onto an equal playing field of relating, where I get to inquire into my state of being resourced, my openness and willingness and my capacities to meet said needs, wants and desires or make a counter offer of what I can provide or alternatively express what I am not available for. 

That aligns with my vision of sovereign relating amongst equals, which is my explicit preference.

Neediness happens on a playing field of implicit inequality, assigning to the requesting the one-down position and the requested the one-up position. And it does not approach another with a straight-forward expression of a need and/or bid for support but comes at the other indirectly, often with unconscious and manipulative veneers of wanting to share or “give” to the approached. While there is a strong pulling on the energy of the approached, in some cases even an unconscious vampiristic attempt to utilize the other’s energy in balancing out a perceived lack. There are aspects of learned helplessness, victimhood, etc. which are all predicated on the person giving away their power and asking another to give it back to them, which of course is an impossibility.

I feel compassion for the predicament of living with this conditioning and trauma response, there is love in me for the being that meets me from that energy. And yet I will set very clear and unmovable boundaries with my protective parts, make my energy mercurially in-graspable, while being present with them from the detachment of the indifferent self. 

Essentially throwing them back to their own devices where they play hide and seek with themselves. Yet, wherever I am called to support them in facing their true, underlying need and meeting it in more skillful and honest ways, I will gladly be of service. 

I am just not available for the ‘song and dance of delusion’ their pattern creates for them and all who will step into the miasma of this distortion. My awareness, presence and energy are way too precious to me to invest, or waste, them in such a senseless way.

On the other side I love to meet straightforwardness and courageous expressions of needs with as much of a *yes* and support as I can muster. Reminding us that having needs is a natural and beautiful aspect of being human we share. And making a point of expressing and embodying that it is a privilege to be of service to them in this now, in order to see them soar and shine in the next. 

I happily embrace being a channel the universe uses to support another being, joyfully participating in waves of kindness, compassion and love that ripple and flow through our field of consciousness to the benefit and growth of All That Is.

Neediness is something I am no longer willing to engage with, even less so on its distorting playing field.

Photography: ‘Bad Breakup’ via Everett Collection

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Illness, especially one that is connected with a potential for death, has a way of triggering existential fears. Fears as old as our ancestral lineages, fears embedded in every cell of the body, fears arising from a lack of knowing and trust in true nature. One of these fears is fear of death, the fear that still holds the majority of humanity in its stranglehold. Another fear is the fear of mutilation and/or disability. Both fears are worthy challenges to the mind as it faces its extinction or diminishment in them. 

To a mystic or conscious person who has walked a spiritual path to some depth death no longer has a paralyzing or irrationalizing effect as my perception of it has transformed. In my experience death has been illumined by the light of consciousness to reveal its true nature of a liberator and gracious energetic gateway that transports us to the next dimension of this journey. Due to that I do not fear but actually welcome death, whenever it may come. I love life and the experiences I have in this current embodied form but have no desire to resist my Soul’s call to move on. I deeply trust and know that whatever happens is for my benefit, even if that benefit cannot be fathomed initially it has always revealed itself in time.

The challenge I faced was to dance with the fear of disability and mutilation. To observe compassionately how deeply ingrained it is in the body, to listen to the body and discern its voice of wisdom from its voice of fear. To hold the fearful part with love while using knowledge and conscious knowing to entrain trust and surrender to life. And do all that while navigating everyday life, decisions about next steps that are true to my being, and other people’s opinions, mindsets, and energies externally.

A rewarding challenge, which once again left me in awe as to the strength that is available to me when I meet life head on and anchored in present awareness. Something of a milestone as I observed myself interweaving seriousness and clarity with playful awareness of a larger picture to life, which made it all feel lighter and at times even magical.

Towards the end of my journey, along the standardized path doctors prefer, I heard the call arising from my body and knowing to veer back onto a purely Self directed path. Which meant making choices that the doctors would not like or understand. And I felt genuine compassion for them, trying to make it easy on them to accept my choices by underlining that I take full responsibility for my life and choices and free them from any responsibility of their consequences. On the other hand I offered to keep them in the loop with a view to upcoming test results and developments.

And this is where I realized that the path of the Self I am called to walk is a high stake gamble to those who live from a cosmology of separation consciousness and total identification with the body. My choices induce fear in them while they feel empowering and aligned to me. In my cosmology of oneness and centering true nature beyond the body, what I am called to do feels like sidestepping the pull of distortion and inner dissonance to step back into the slip-stream of consciousness and the ease of its harmonious flow.

It is an invitation to understand health as consisting of two seemingly contradictory realities, who are one nonetheless. Like the seeming contraction of Quantum Physics and Newtonian Physics, there are different rules and systems at work in our body and *all* have to be honored where they apply.

My body and intuition have been in alignment with the first recommended treatments, which surprised and intrigued me. And which is why I wholeheartedly embraced these treatments and immersed myself in receptivity to the goodness that came with it. 

Then my body and intuition signaled that we are done walking this path and another is needed to integrate and heal fully. 

The inner guidance system has been leading me to delve into more research on current medical knowledge, insights, and research and concurrently synchronistically lead me towards the path that is mine to walk. I have opened myself to feel as fully as I can, to allow all voices within me to speak and know they will be heard, to take a lot of alone time to contemplate and digest it all, and lastly keep asking my intuition for guidance and clarity.

In hindsight the contours of a subtle lesson begin to take a fascinating form. What I have been guided to do was moving between two dimensions of consciousness on all dimensions of experience (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual) and to know their oneness in the process. Knowing them as one heals any rifts, or resistances, that arise from separation consciousness which lies at the core of dis-ease of the body and loss of wellbeing.

Now I am focused on Self healing, which to me means letting the Self heal all that disrupts the health of the body and bring it back into balance wherever it has been out of balance. Addressing all layers ( trauma, metabolic, genetic) with an energetic, nutritional, lifestyle, and consciousness approach beyond words. 

I know that fasting, be it in the form of intermittent fasting or 3 day water fasts will be part of the next step as is the focus on creating a state of hyper nutrition for the body. Though usually meant in a nutritional sense, I got the nudge that it applies to all layers of experience, which need to be intentionally curated to be extra nurturing and abundant in goodness. This is how my body wants to be supported in healing itself and that is what I shall do to the best of my abilities. 

And of course I will be making sure to be seen and tested by my doctors. Thankfully I have doctors who support this journey and will keep an eye on my health and provide helpful nudges and recommendations where necessary. It is a privilege, and the result of a lot of self work, that I get to be supported on all dimensions of health and healing.

Not many will understand, nor concur with, what I am pointing to in my reflections. As what I am pointing to is hard to verbalize and be understood purely rationally but easy to be known, sensed, and felt. I trust those who are ready or need to will resonate with it and be led inwards towards new insights and clarity on their experiences and perceptions of health.

Life is more complex than our current human knowledge, as expansive as it is, can quite grasp nor explain. We do our best with what we have, and sometimes our knowledge holders forget to be mindful of the not-knowing that parallels each knowledge they have gained. And from that forgetfulness of the gatekeepers of knowledge many of us derive misperceptions of reality, or assume limits to our possibilities that are born of fear and a lack of knowledge and understanding. It is human and understandable, but we no longer need to be beholden to such ignorance. 

When we shine the light of consciousness on current knowledge we allow consciousness to gift us knowing, knowing beyond human horizons and in service of life. There are more ways of knowing existence than our reductionist western conditioning acknowledges or values, nonetheless they are as valuable and trustworthy when used discerningly and applied where they are most useful. Just like a hammer cannot do a screw-drivers work ,nor vice versa, forms of knowledge and knowing have their time and space where they shine or fail.

Keep inquiring into your guidance systems, keep feeding your mind knowledge from all sources, dare to hold contradicting theories and ideas, and let that wise inner voice direct you to what is true to your path.

Let us never cease praising the treasures we are gifted by the great Beloved as we surrender to life.

Blessed be fellow journeyers of the mystical path.

Photography by Unknown

The post Health Lessons appeared first on Venuskind.

When communicating with people who lack an aligned spiritual background, or who have not delved into it as far, my mind starts translating, explaining, and becoming more detailed in conveying its meaning. Realizing the difference in cosmologies and how these influence the conception and perception of my words and their meaning, and understanding beyond the mind that some of the meaning of my words lies in the invisible which necessitates a listener to have an intuitive or conscious access to the invisible to fully grasp what I am sharing or pointing to.

I catch myself attempting to make that meaning tangible and perceptible for those without access to the non-physical through words, which necessitates more words and a higher level of complexity or communication of interconnected aspects.

Someone called it my ‘branched’ thinking, which amused me at first because that has a different meaning to me, as I conceptualize that as taking an essential or fundamental idea and following it into branches of its meaning and manifestation. Which I do at times but had not in conversations with them.

In my morning reflections today I became aware what they were trying to verbalize by talking about my ‘branched’ thinking. They were pointing to something I had not been mindful of, though I was conscious of in my higher mind: my wish to verbalize my multidimensional perceptions and thoughts.

That was an interesting moment of realizing how the higher mind acts without the ‘human mind’ being aware of it, even if consciousness is utilizing the ‘human mind.’ What I refer to as the higher mind is not located in the brain, and may include what we usually think of as the mind (human mind), yet it exceeds it by accessing the field of consciousness in more subtle or higher layers depending on how you picture it. It is through this aspect that access to the higher realms and dimensions is possible to us. Some people perceive it and conceptualize it as the heart-mind.
A term I intentionally side-step as it subtly affirms to too many their dualistic perception of heart and mind and the rejection of the mind (mental, intellectual), which to me is something I don’t want to feed into. One could argue that ‘higher mind’ might be misperceived as a disregard of the heart but that is easier to address than the other perceptive distortion because it is an effect of mainstream thinking.

Back to my adaptations in communication when speaking with people who are not familiar with relationship dynamics, energetic dynamics, and spiritual cosmologies pointing to the oneness of all that is or the field of consciousness. As my perceptions and reflections of life are based on these knowings they often feel alien, weird, or outright nonsensical to those who perceive life through the lens of mainstream conditionings, which deem the physical and quantifiable the only reality.

Therefore while sharing of myself and my perceptions I am aware of a need to make the invisible and intangibles, which are real aspects of life to me, shine through and become more visible and tangible to the human mind.

It feels like changing languages, and coming up against the limitations of my language skill and vocabulary in the other language, and having to accept my falling short of truly conveying my meaning and releasing the hope for their full understanding. At best 50% or 60% of it is accessible to the open minded but closed bodied/hearted. With people whose intuition is more intact and integrated it can go up to 70% or 75%, which is not too bad.

And how does my being know or guesstimate the percentage of what has been transferred? The feedback is mostly clear and loud in the non-physical, non-linear, and non-verbal. This is also where cues to rephrase, explain, or drop a subject come from even if the other doesn’t communicate their confusion.

Don’t get me wrong I get the same ‘lost in translation’ feedback when communicating with some spiritual people, whenever what I share is from my current growth edge and ‘too far out’ for their cosmology or current grasp. The difference there is a different kind of openness to the unknown, a part of them hearing me and opening to what may lay out of their ken… allowing the meaning to come to them in time, if welcomed.
In a sense a listening happens with with others too, but the part that hears and opens is not as integrated into their waking experience or awareness. Which makes it unclear if that knowing will ever be theirs in this lifetime, depending on their life’s trajectory. It is like a seed that doesn’t fall on fertile welcoming soil, but on a hardened soil in a dry and hot climate, making it a matter of alignment of many factors if the seed will ever get a chance to root and grow.

Becoming aware of my unconscious attempts at and challenges of translating the mystical into the mundane is quite entertaining. On the one hand I cannot help feel a deeper appreciation for the dynamics of communication and its complexities, and on the other hand I cannot stop laughing at this human experience and its countless futile toils.

Making it conscious allows me to stop wasting my energy in attempts which are not going to be fruitful and only end up confounding and mesmerizing another in ways that are not conducive to a meeting of equal beings.

Once again I wonder how subtly my path keeps changing and transforming my expressions and how I live in the meeting point of two worlds. What a gift that I am surrounded with beloveds, who not only understand my mystic’s experience, heart, and mind but also inspire her to travel and explore further.

Who would have thought that a mundane thing like dating could be the source of reaping sweet fruits of insight? But then isn’t all made of consciousness and awaits our attunement and ability to commune with it in playfulness?

What magic this life holds for all…

Art by Robert Cook

The post Lost in Translation appeared first on Venuskind.

“If we think that other people can do us good, we will also think the opposite, that they can do us harm. It is an esoteric principle that neither is true. It is a subtle form of idol worship to think that anyone of himself does anything good or bad for us. However, others can be channels for our good.

Genuine fulfillment arises from within yourself. To feel alive only when we are with another person is false vitality, which we fear losing with the loss of the other. By extinguishing that part of us which feels alive only when with another is to live truly.

I want to give you a profound principle which, when absorbed, enables you to live as you like with other people.

You cannot establish a solid and satisfying relationship with another through human devices, such as gifts, promises, persuasions, threats, flatteries. You might temporarily get what you want, but the relationship will not be a happy one, and it will most likely break up.

Satisfying relationships can exist only between people who are more or less on the same high level of psychic maturity. They can enjoyably exchange endless benefits with each other on the psychic level, such as love and understanding. They can, also, without tension, enjoy all the benefits of the human and physical level, like conversation, companionship, sex. But two people on a low level of maturity can only anxiously exchange gifts on the human level, for that is all they have.

This leads us right back to the same conclusion: Raise your own level of psychic understanding, of mental maturity. Then you automatically attract people on your new level and with them you can have happy relations.”

~ Vernon Howard, The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power

Art: ‘Electric Love’ by Android Jones

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